I'm Laura!

Silly thoughts.

2012-01-15T17:23:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when I'm not asked out by guys I think stupid things.

Like, men don't find me physically attractive.

It must be my hair. It's too poofy.

But then I listen to Heart and watch A Room With a View and feel much better about my glorious hair.

Then I think, it must be my weight. Men must be disgusted by my body rolls.

But then I go on a run, think about all of the beautiful rubenesque women in the world who date, and I feel beautiful.

Well something must be wrong with me, right? I know, I wear to much makeup. Men think I'm pale and I look like an undead zombie with all of that eyeshadow.

Wait, no...my ankles. My chin hair. My glasses. My unkempt nail polish. My clothes.
I'M A MONSTER!!!

I mean, obviously something is wrong with me.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.
In the immortal words of Christina Aguilera, "You are beautiful in every single way!"

In the words of the even more wiser Gordon B. Hinckley, "In very large measure each of us holds the key to the blessings of the Almighty upon us. If we wish the blessing, we must pay the price. A part of that price lies in being faithful. Faithful to what? Faithful to ourselves, to the very best that is within us. No woman can afford to demean herself, to belittle herself, to downgrade her abilities or her capacities. Let each be faithful to the great, divine attributes that are within her."

a. Chuck Bass knows all about inner beauty. b. Things that make me happy...Chuck Bass.

Things that make me happy.
1. I invented a yummy meal (pesto pita pizza).
2. Church was lovely.
3. I have wonderful friends.
4. I love my job.
5. Juice is delicious.
6. I ran a personal best timed mile on Saturday.
7. Cupcake Brigade!
8. Thanks to a wonderful man, I have my power steering back.
9. All of the amazing music (Sufjan Stevens, Stornoway, Gotye, Great Lake Swimmers, Mates of State, etc.)
10. Jewish cookies and nice people returning my purse that I accidentally left in S. SLC.

January/life wanderlust.

2012-01-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

I've had a serious case of wanderlust.

The holidays are filled with parties and excitment (not that mine had a lot of either of those this year). And then comes January. You set goals and get back into healthy routines. But something is missing. You want to release all of the new energy you're finding in the gym. You want to meet new people. Go to new places. Experience new things.

I want to go to the beach so bad it hurts in my stomach.

I want to accomplish something. I want to hike!

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut.

Don't get me wrong. I love my friends and my job. My life is good. But I have the fever, and I need to sweat it out somehow.

I need a concert, that feeling of being smashed in a hot and sweaty crowd, complete connectedness.

I want to meet new people.

This is Gotye, I'd like to meet him.

I am obsessed with this song. It makes me feel a good turn in my stomach. It reminds me of picking dafodils off the highway in Virginia. It makes me miss Virginia and my life there. It makes me want to feel that feeling of community here.

Also, Gotye is SUPER attractive.

So far I've invited new people to do things with me. I've gone to a Jewish synagogue (I loved it and plan to attend many other religious services). I have talked to new people I normally wouldn't talk to.


Branching out...heh heh.

Suggestions for places to go, people to meet, things to do?

2011 in review.

2012-01-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

I know I already posted about 2011, but I thought this was cool. 2011 in review.

Moment Worth Recognizing: Getting my endowment (http://lds.org/church/temples/why-we-build-temples/what-happens-in-temples?lang=eng).

Moment I Wish Never Had Even Happened 'Cause All It Did Was Leave Me Bitter: Well let's just say it's a collection of moments that weren't my choice, but they all had to do with two people.
Most Exhausting & Exhilarating Event This Year: I'm going to say teaching. It's exhausting, but oh so worth it.
Goal(s) Set & Achieved: I wanted to run a 5-k. I ran two.
Goal(s) Set & Not Achieved: Get under a certain weight. I'm about 15 pounds away, but I know I'll get it this year.
Best Discovery: Jernae. She's amazing, quite possibly the best roommate I've ever had. A good friend and an amazing person.
Movie of the Year: Billy Elliot. Not new, but I loved loved it.
Awesome Trend That Rocked The World: Party Rock Anthem. So bad, so fun.
National Anthem of the Year: Summer Breeze, by Seals & Crofts. Again, not new, but I love it.
Most Loved Album: Great Lake Swimmers, Lost Channels. So good. It's hard to pick one.
Album On Most Rotation: Not an album, a mix. My "Kate" mix, aka a killer 90's mix.
Movie I Thought Would Totally Stink But Took Me By Surprise At How Much I Enjoyed It: Thor. I thought it looked dumb, but I kinda loved it.
Most Watched TV Show: I watched all of Psych, so I'll go with that.
Biggest TV Disappointment: Two Broke Girls, not good. I can't think of anything else.
Biggest Annoyance: Social Studies, I hate hate hated that class.
Proudest Moment: Surviving, and liking, my first semester of teaching!
Most Fun Time: Laser tagging. Some of my friends and I bought VIP, year-long, passes to Toad's Fun Zone- best decision ever. No money, no problem. We have our passes and we have fun!

Worst Time: Fall and Holiday season. Best of times (not that much, besides the teaching and some good friends) and worst of times.
What I Wished I'd Done Every Weekend This Year: Go on a hike. Bc it would have been good. Oh, or paint.
Thing Released This Year That Became An Instant Classic & A Daily Reminder In Life: My Droid Charge (I kinda copied Abbey with this answer).
Moments of Pure Joy: I had some good runs with loads of endorphins. I finished some tough hikes. I felt the high of accomplishment. Oh, seeing my students succeed at the math Olympia.

Mini makeout post.

2012-01-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

You know, it's not just the sluts who want to make out. We all do. Okay, well I do. All the time.

But I guess the key is that we (the non-ncmo, chaste ladies) don't act on our desires.

In the paraphrased words of lots of wise people, it's good to not always get what you want. And sometimes it's good to not get what you want right when you want it.

That's all.

Three Christmas gifts I made this year

2012-01-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

SPINNING Music box. Mirrored sides. Hot Mexican men and me with gold puff paint on top. Blooming LIGHT UP glass flower with classy mustached man bursting forth from it's nectar. Black puff paint trimming.

Jewelry box. Astronaut, Barbie's in a bubble bath, philosoraptor, moon. Gold and Black puff paint trim. Blue velvet-ish lining.

Outside: white stuff, classy gold trim and handle.

Octagon wood Jewelry box. Spock Dog (link). Gold and black puff paint detailing. Velvet-ish lining.

Two thousand twelve.

2011-12-31T14:15:00.000-07:00

A. Let's hope the Mayan calendar just starts up again (it's a frickin circle people) and we don't all die.

B. While 2011 had it's highlights, it was really difficult. I hope I'm able to have a better attitude and enjoy the journey a little bit more than I did in 2011.

C. Goals: Financial independence and stability. Duh, be healthier. Run a 10k. Create more. Anything, everything- I just want to create more!

I ran two 5k's this year. It may not seem like a lot to some people, but it's a butt-load to me. I shaved six minutes off of my second 5k. Now that's a big deal. Also, I had fun on my second 5k, the first one was just scary.

I made a lot of new friends and I got really close to my wonderful cousin.

Things with the fam were rough, I'm not going to lie. But per usual with life, there was a lot of good with the bad. I love my family and I'm excited to spend eternity with them. I can't wait to see my father again in the next life. Also I look real nice, but also a little scary, in this picture.

I had some seriously good times with friends. A lot of those good times happened at Toad's Fun Zone. Thank you year-long VIP passes! Who knew Go-Karts and Laser Tag could be SO good.

I was able to accomplish some physical goals that seemed somewhat impossible in the past. I.e. This hike that I had to turn back on the previous year. Here I am at the finish!

I saw some great shows. Mates of State par deux!

We had some GREAT parties. It's funny to think about how I hated parties in H.S. (there are a few reasons for this). Currently we have about 5 parties planned for 2012 already. This one was the slightly offensive/stereotypical party. Honestly it wasn't offensive enough, we'll do better next year. I was AMERICA.

Another good party.

I got the most fantastic job and completed my first half year of teaching. I love my students and my job 95 percent. I can't avoid the occasional anxiety attack or pill students, but it's all worth it. I LOVE my school, my administrators, and my students!

I went to the temple and received my endowment (Check the link for more info). This has brought SO much joy and beauty into my life, but I also think Satan has been working harder on me. The timing has been strange, but beautiful. So much has happened since "going" to the temple, but it's definitely the highlight of my year. The temple has cemented the course of my eternal path, and I love it.

D. 2011. Whew. It's been an interesting year. I have found friends and lost friends. People have come in, and people have gone out. Whenever I thought all was lost and I thought I cried all of my tears, God quickly showed me the hope of the future. When I thought things couldn't get worse I was shown how insignificant and passing those pains were. I felt a lot of pain, but I experienced extreme peace and joy.I'm sure I'm forgetting some pretty important things, but I guess it doesn't matter. In the end we just have to keep moving upward and onward! HO!

Brainillustrations.

2011-12-29T00:57:00.000-07:00

Some are eye candy. Others are illustrations of my thoughts. Enjoy.

http://www.hatrobot.com/oldstuff.html

I am a...

2011-12-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

I think it's interesting how much labels and titles matter to us. On the one hand people are willing to pay thousands of dollars for a label (types, colors, levels in a program, greed cults, brand names), and on the other people give their lives up to escape labels (racial, religious, ethnic, cultural, offensive).

The other day I mentioned running to an acquaintance. They asked me if I was a runner. Like a gust of wind in my brain, I was taken back to the Art department at Southern Virginia University. I remembered struggling with saying I was an artist. I mean sure I created art, I was an Art major, but was I an artist? After a lot of art making, discussion with my Senior Art Girls (I'm going to include Katie and a few younger people in this too) and professors, and talking "in-loud" to myself I decided I could say, "Yes, I am an artist."

So here I am again, wondering, "Am I an artist?...Am I a runner?" Why does it matter "what" we are? Eh, who knows. Anticlimactic much? Once again I've started a post in a mental fervor...then I go to sleep and try to finish the post a few days later. The fever is gone, and the post ends like this, but just to spice it up I'll make a list of the labels I like to have or have been given.

-Daughter of God
-Smith
-Weird
-Artist/Painter
-Runner
-Teacher/Educator
-Latter-Day Saint

YouTube Videos You simply must watch.

2011-12-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

My classroom

2011-11-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Tour de Laura's classroom.

This is our Red Ribbon Week door. The kids wrote their natural highs on the clouds. Yes, those are clouds.

We made texture turkeys. Implied and tactile texture.

Vampire stomach turkey

Peacock turkey

I teach 5th and 6th graders.

Crying because he's going to be eaten?

Texture swan

Right now our Dia de los Muertos chalk pastel calacas are up. It's blacker than the night in there! Those are their journal boxes.

The desks are in weird positions because the music teacher, who I share a room with, moves them.

There's the desk :)

love them!

Muffin cat is their to inspire and motivate the students. And there's Ferdinand the bull.

Darth Vader!

So that's my classroom. I don't know what else to say about it. If you have questions, feel free to ask :)

Give them time, let um bloom.

2011-11-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

I will not explain.

2011-11-09T18:06:00.000-07:00

Indians ain't supposed to smile like that...get stoic.

2011-11-08T15:11:00.002-07:00

Sometimes you have impossible day dreams to fulfill the need for romantic attachment.

Sometimes you have a crush.

Sometimes you are getting over someone.

Sometimes you're on the prowl.

Sometimes there are no men to pursue or crush on.

But you don't feel sad that there's nothing, you feel like this:

My romantic life is a barren wonderland.

Sometimes it's nice to not have romantic anything for anyone. Sometimes it's nice to hug the warm salt and appreciate that there are no interesting plants or bugs crawling around to distract you. The solitude and sound of the Earth are enough. Friends are all you want, and all you need. You see the crazy all around you, and indulge in the nothingness.

This last picture is simply here to disturb you.

A daft life.

2011-10-22T10:38:00.000-06:00

Busy, busy, busy.

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;gt;k&lt;/p&gt;

Differences and awareness

2011-10-20T19:05:00.000-06:00

Here's a post I never finished. I do not intend to finish it, so here it is all choppy and incomplete (even more than usual).

So I've been thinking about two things in particular lately. 1. 90 percent of all human drama in unintentional. And 2. Our differences make us beautiful, and in no way have to prevent "Zion" from happening.

1. 90 percent of all human drama in unintentional.

2. Our differences make us beautiful, and in no way have to prevent Zion. See Moses 7:18

http://lds.org/ensign/1978/07/differences?lang=eng

http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/our-hearts-knit-as-one?lang=eng

http://lds.org/ensign/2004/06/teaching-our-children-to-accept-differences?lang=eng

“Do not underestimate the important symbolic and actual effect of appearance. Persons who are well groomed and modestly dressed invite the companionship of the Spirit of our Father in Heaven and are able to exercise a wholesome influence upon those around them. Persons who are unkempt and careless about their appearance, or adopt the visual symbols of those who often oppose our ideals, expose themselves and persons around them to influences that are degrading and dissonant. Outward appearance is often a reflection of inward tendencies” (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1996], 220).
It is interesting to me that these trends of the world frequently promote a false individuality that is nothing more than a superficial and curious outward conformity. True individuality is the product of spirituality and is not a function of trinkets or ornaments attached to or hanging from parts of our body. The spiritual basis of individuality is never more evident to me than when I worship in the house of the Lord and everyone is dressed in similar white clothing, looking essentially the same. In that setting, no fads or fashion statements are necessary. The unity and outward sameness of appearance in the temple permits the individual spirit to shine through. That, brothers and sisters, is the only type of individuality that really matters. Remember, our bodies are not our own; they are on loan from God. Indeed, they are temples, and the Spirit of the Lord should dwell therein and shine through.

Not that awkward after all.

2011-10-20T17:33:00.000-06:00

DISCLAIMER: If the words poop, vagina, penis, love, boogers, or sex bother you- BEWARE. At least for the first part.

I've been told I'm awkward at least 1000 times, and you know what- that's cool. I guess that's the thing about awkwardness- it's not always that awkward. I think a lot of situations that people consider awkward or embarrassing are pretty normal, but people think it's taboo to talk about them, or to experience them.

Now don't worry, even I am sane enough to recognize things that are awkward. Shouting through tears, "I'm not a lesbian!!!!" and being serious about it...at an LDS singles ward FHE...awkward. Confrontation- awkward. Suing someone, or being sued- awkward.

Talking with someone you just met about how you were molested as a child or raped, masturbation, addiction, being a hermaphrodite, killing someone...etc.- all awkward.

So, some things in life are awkward, and they mostly fit into two categories: over-share with people you don't know well enough, and confrontation. But guess what? There are a lot of other things that aren't really as awkward as everyone thinks, or at least they shouldn't be. In true Laura-style, I will discuss a few via list:

1. Going to the bathroom. I thought I'd just get this one out of the way. This includes periods, gas, grumbling tummies and the like. Before I continue however, I would like to point out that while bodily functions don't have to be so taboo, that does not make it polite to say things like, "I gotta take a piss," or share details of your visit with john with strangers or acquaintances. "I have to go to the bathroom," great. "I'm gonna burst...insert location...etc." Not okay with polite company. Friends who are cool with it, family- go to town. I wont lie, I'm a member of a poop club.

Also, I'm going to toss in boogers. No, you shouldn't wipe them on your mom's silk couch, and no- you should not eat them...wait, I just barfed all over the universe...okay, I'm composed now. The point is, blowing your nose, sneezing, extracting boogers with your tissue, or hey, your finger- who cares?! Let people evacuate the dance floor in their noses. (Your doctor might care about the finger situation because you're passing bacteria to a susceptible place and then to other people and/or objects.)

Periods. I remember when I stopped hiding the pads in my grocery cart. That's right, I used to buy as much as possible when I went shopping for my feminine needs. I would buy as much as possible so that I could hide my pads in my cart. I was horrified that someone would see me buying the goods. They would glance at the pads and judge me. THEY WOULD KNOW I WAS ON THE FLOW! One day I was at Wal-mart. I needed some feminine supplies. Pads, pills, Popsicles, the works. I thought to cover them up, and then it dawned on me. I'm a woman. People know I have periods. People know I have boobs and a uterus. It's not embarrassing. I am not embarrassing. I am woman, here me PMS! For more information on how periods are not awkward, ask VINNIE! As with the other non-awkwards, there is always potential for non-kosher social behavior. Do not announce to large groups the state or existence of your period. Do not pester horrified men with talk about your "heavy flow and wide set vagina."

2. Romance. I'm talking having feelings for someone, someone having feelings for you, kissing, sex, having babies, breast feeding. I just hate that I do, or have ever felt guilty, creepy, or bad because I have a crush on someone. Okay, if it's a relative or a child etc.- you should feel bad, but my liking a man of a reasonable age, who is not my cousin etc.- what's SO terrible about it!? What do I have to speak in hushed tones and turn red just because I think someone is physically attractive? Why do any of us? Asking people out shouldn't be so taboo. If you don't want to go out, say no. If you do, say yes. I could go on and on with this one, but I'm not going to. Life is awkward, love is awkward.

3. Falling down, stumbling, spoonerism, brain-farts, tripping, being a human being. I stumble on my words all the time. I drop things like they're hot constantly. Perhaps I'm tired of writing this post, or perhaps I think everyone will just get this one without all of the horrifyingly blunt verbal pandering I was doing earlier.

4. Compliments. If someone gives you a compliment, say thank you. That's it, that's all you have to do. Don't fight it- THAT WILL MAKE IT AWKWARD. The more you accept compliments, the more you will believe them. The more you believe them, the more true they will become. Typically if someone compliments you, they're being genuine- if they're obviously being douche bags, feel free to respond in like manner. However, when in doubt, pretend it's compliment. Jackson Pollock (an okay artist) said, "Abstract painting is abstract. It confronts you. There was a reviewer a while back who wrote that my pictures didn't have any beginning or any end. He didn't mean it as a compliment, but it was." Abraham Lincoln, a wise man and successful selector of accouterments said, "Everybody likes a compliment." And I just have to add this gem from Mitch Hedberg, "I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it."

5. Doing the right thing/pointing out the rules. Good friends will keep you in line. One of my best friends has very different moral standards than me. I mean yeah, we both think killing and be butt-heads is wrong. We have a lot of the same moral standards, but we disagree about some pretty big issues. With all of this disagreeing you'd think the two of us would be at each others throats constantly- on the contrary, we've never argued before. I'm not saying arguing means you're not good friends, nor am I saying that healthy debate is bad. I am saying that just because you disagree with someones beliefs, doesn't mean you can't get along. I don't drink, smoke, participate in drug use, premarital sex, or pornography. If ever I attempted to do any of these things in Hillary's presence, I feel confident that she would stop me. Hillary knows who I want to be, and she supports that. A true friend supports who you are and who you want to be (Disclaimer: I'm certainly not saying that Hillary participates in those things). A good friend wouldn't try to talk you out of things they know are important to you. I'm so tired of hearing about people I love who have "friends" who keep trying to talk them into behaving in ways contrary to their moral beliefs. We are not 15. I am SO over peer pressure. If your friends are not supporting the kind of person you know you should be, lose them. Boyd K. Packer said, "If you are slipping into things that you should not slip into or if you are associating with people who are pulling you away in the wrong direction, that is the time to assert your independence, your agency. Listen to the voice of the Spirit, and you will not be led astray." Good friends will encourage you to do good things. I don't care how long you've known them, they're not your family. If they're dragging you down, cut the rope.

7. Changing in the locker room. Enough said. It's not awkward, but admittedly I'm a bit of an exhibitionist. In general I just don't think nudity is awkward. I mean yeah, be modest, but nudity- get over it.

Whew, glad that's over.

Happy - smile. Sad - frown. Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion.

2011-10-11T22:20:00.001-06:00

I know I already posted today, but well...I don't know what to do with myself and so I'm posting again! Because I'm Laura (3rd person...shudder), I'm going to present this post in list form.

Things that made me happy today and lately:
The sunset was gorgeous.

I did a 5k.
I went on a nice walk.
I made hummus and tabbouleh salad.
I slept in.
I watched TV.
I did some homework.
I had miso soup.
I looked pretty.
My principal provided this weeks lesson plans so I didn't have to plan anything.
I subbed Spanish and it was good overall, or I mean bien.
I lost some more weight.

Things that made me pooey today and lately:
I burnt something and then my landlord did, so our house smells awful.
I walked most of that 5k.
I thought too much on my walk.
My hummus and tabbouleh salad weren't as good as usual, but they were pretty good.
As you know, see previous post, I had too much time on my hands and it led me to thinking about all of my fears about life.
I wasn't lazy and relaxed enough.
I didn't do enough homework.
I wasn't productive enough.
I missed my dad and wanted to talk to him more than anybody in the whole world. I want to talk to him about my fears. I wanted him to give me a blessing. I wanted his perspective on the scriptures. I wanted to talk to him about boys. I wanted to hug him and smell his awful Pepsi saturated skin. I wanted to hear one of his silly sound effects. I wanted to see his nub. I wanted to talk about tennis and science with him. I wanted to share music with him. I just wanted my dad so much.

Let him be my eyes.

2011-10-11T14:37:00.000-06:00

What do you do when you see your beauty inside and out, I mean you really see it, but you worry it wont make any difference. I'm in a weird mood. I've put on my makeup and done my hair. I'm wearing the floral sweatsuit my grandma gave me. I'm looking in the mirror and the sun is lighting it up. I'm noticing physical changes in myself that are positive. I ran a 5k. I have a day off. The weather is looking nice. I see that I'm a beautiful daughter of God. I see that I'm smart, funny, and friendly. I see that I have amazing friends who love me. I see that I have a good life. I'm trying to see that everything will work out. I think I know it will. But "in the meantime" hurts. I'm afraid of so many things. I'm afraid of repeating the same patterns (I've blogged about this before, see previous post). I'm afraid of putting myself out there, just to be pushed down again. I'm afraid of so many things.

The other day I realized my fears and paranoia about men were my own lack of faith and my supply of insecurities rearing their ugly little heads. I suppose, as per usual, I don't have a point. I just thought it seemed like a bit of a contradiction. Seeing so much beauty in yourself, and still being afraid that no one else (men...certain ones) will see it or care about it. I'm going to get to work, if there's anything in this world that can lift one's spirits, or build confidence, it's work.

I wish men could see me through my own eyes sometimes. I wish men could see themselves through my eyes sometimes. I wish I could see myself through the eyes of men sometimes. I never wish to see men through the eyes of men. I think men are wonderful, and that's how I want to keep seeing them.

Can I get a witness?

2011-09-25T20:55:00.000-06:00

I got this from a friend on Facebook

Human emotions are amazing. Amazing and bad, and amazing and good. One minute I feel beautiful and good. The next I don't. One minute I think he likes me, the next not. I sit here and wish he'd talk to me on FB or text me or come over or something. But that's ridiculous bc I could just invite him or initiate it myself. I don't know, it's silly, but also not silly.

I guess I'm just afraid of my feelings. I'm afraid of my intense emotions. I try to say that I don't feel *that* deeply for him so quickly, but I'm afraid that I do. I'm afraid I'm falling or have fallen for him. I'm afraid that he'll like one of my friends or think we're only friends. It's happened before and I feel like I'm going up and down the stairs of the Notre dame, repeating the same thing over and over like a nightmare. I switch back and forth and I feel like David Bowie before he got with Iman, I mean pick a sexual orientation Bowie! Pick an emotion Laura!

Are my emotions and fears silly or not? Who gives a flaming bingo dauber?!

How Firm a Foundation, Hugh Nibley Style.

2011-09-25T19:13:00.000-06:00

I LOVE HUGH NIBLEY.

I love how blunt he is.

I love the funny words he uses.

I love how much of a hippie he is.

I love his glasses.
I love his love for learning.

So far I love all of his essays that I've listened to or read, and that includes this gem:

How Firm a Foundation! What Makes it So

"Apostates usually become sometimes feverishly active, determined to prove to the world and themselves that it is a fraud after all. What is that to them? Apparently it is everything—it will not let them alone. At the other end of the scale are those who hold no rancor and even retain a sentimental affection for the Church—they just don't believe the gospel. I know quite a few of them. But how many of them can leave it alone? It haunts them all the days of their life. No one who has ever had a testimony ever forgets or denies that he once did have it—that it was something that really happened to him. Even for such people who do not have it anymore, a testimony cannot be reduced to an illusion."

Just look at all of that ticky-tacky commercialism! "Father Flanigan doesn't have the money to pay for that!"

Oh, here's a gem about St. George, Utah, "Those delightful old stakehouses, bishop's storehouses, schools, wardhouses, homes, and even barns have been steadily replaced by service stations, chain restaurants, shopping malls, motels, and prefabricated functional church and school buildings right from the assembly line: admittedly more practical, but must every house and tree and monument be destroyed because it does not at present pay for itself in cold cash? The St. George Temple is now lost in a neon jungle and suburban tidal-wash of brash, ticky-tacky commercialism. One can only assume that it bespeaks the spirit of our times. God has said that the Saints must build Zion with an eye to two things, holiness and beauty: "For Zion must increase in beauty and in holiness" (D&C 82:14)—with no qualifying provision, "Insofar as an adequate return on the investment will allow."

LOVE THIS:

"[A question-period followed this presentation. The questions were in the nature of practical objections—very sensible and reasonable. For example: "People now moving into Utah Valley must have somewhere to live, therefore the orchards must go."
Response: What could be more sensible and to the point? In such a spirit a friend says to me, "I must have my two cups of coffee every morning; otherwise I cannot get through the day." Perfectly sensible; what is the answer? What do you mean by getting through the day? "Well, I have to go the office—the old rat race, you know, a real strain." Must you go to the office? Is there no other way? Who tells you there is no other way? The more completely committed you are to a prescribed way of doing things, the fewer options you enjoy, until you end up a helpless prisoner to your precious "way of life." If you are resigned or dedicated to a regime that you do not really like, or that wastes your talents, then you are a prisoner indeed—in Satan's power. In short, when you say, "There is no other way," the game is lost and he has won. The number of possible solutions to any problem is legion, limited only by our own mental resources, and God is anxious to give us all the light and guidance we are willing to receive in solving our problems (D&C 88:32-33). The mental paralysis of our times strongly suggests that God has withdrawn his Spirit from among men, as he said he would. Quite recently the newspapers and journals have been full of the alarming decline in mental capacity and learning among the rising generation, in which, I sorrow to say, Utah leads the parade with its appalling 26 percent drop in Scholastic Aptitude Test scores and the lowest rating in all the land in mathematics—the one subject that requires some real discipline. Can such people ever be independent? We lamely submit to atom-bomb tests, weteyes, and the MX maze, we inhale the dust of vitriol tailings for years on end and rally to the support of the nation's No. 1 polluter in our midst, as we surrender that last wilderness heritage on earth in the name of "unlocking" it to private land-grabbers. Satan has us where he wants us—helpless, scared to death: "If we leave his employment, what will become of us?" For he has us convinced that there is no other way, nothing to do but go along. Ah, but there is another way. If you and the rest of Adam's children will only listen to the gospel, you will soon learn that ample provision has been made in the providence of God through his law of consecration.]"

Did you know?

2011-09-21T16:52:00.000-06:00

I've liked guys with:
blonde hair, red hair, and brown hair
blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes
tennis shoes, dress shoes, flip flops, toe socks
big noses, small noses
flat butts, bubble butts
hairy legs, bare legs
full heads of hair, balding, salt and pepper, faux hawks, middle parts, shaved heads, big heads, bobble heads, long hair, straight hair, curly hair

I've liked guys who were/could:
fatter than me, skinnier than me
shorter than me, taller than me
jocks, indie, posers, skaters, artists, athletes, outdoors obsessed, geeks, nerds, weirdies
older than me, younger than me
grow facial
not grow facial hair
run faster, hike further, jump higher

Well that was pointless. Just saying. I've liked all types. I think it's easy for girls to think guys only like one type, and we too often think it's any type other than the type that's us. Wow, what a sentence. I've liked all sorts, so who's to say guys haven't? We should just be ourselves and sometime right it will work out right.

In no particular order...

2011-09-20T00:36:00.000-06:00

Dating tips for the ladies

These days I seem to think a lot About the things that I forgot to do And all the times I had the chance to.

2011-09-20T00:31:00.000-06:00

I had one of those days, and being the lazy sod that I am, I'm going to put it in list form.

1. I had a nightmare that my niece was eaten whole by a crocodile. I grabbed that mother beast and pried it's mouth open, only to find Lucy's torn and destroyed corpse inside. Obviously it was upsetting. If it was a complete stranger I'd be upset, but my favorite baby girl niece in the universe? Yeah, I was upset. From the start I felt icky. I couldn't help but think of the Ben Folds song, Trusted:

"The sun's coming up

She's pulled all the blankets over

Curled in a ball

Like she's hiding from me and

That's when I know

She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up

For terrible things I did to her in her dreams"

I tried to shake the feeling. I read this amazing talk.

I listened to music that always cheers me up.

The grey cloud looming above my head didn't really go away...it just sort of changed into a heavy weight on my heart...

...and a fear growing in my brain like a tumor.

I'm not a baby, I'm a tumor!

2. Work was actually pretty nice and I got to chat with Kelsie :) This made me feel A LOT better. She helped me talk through my irrational fears, and brought a calm to my heart. I guess she is good at connecting me with an eternal perspective because we used to be bunk-mates in the pre-existence.

This was my favorite "bunk-mates" picture.

3. I came home from work and the migraine that started yesterday after a bad nap and too many shouting people came back. I was planning on doing some weight training or tennis, but I ended up laying on the couch and watching an amazing episode of Star Trek.

4. My friend came over and helped me with my car. Good ole' Holden helped me fix my cigarette lighter, so I can charge things in my car, and he checked all of my fuses! After he left I cleaned out my trunk and finally fixed my broken seat belt! So that felt nice.

5. CRAZY GIRL EMOTION TIME. WHY DOES JUNO GET A BABY? BABY TIMER! DOES HE LIKE ME MORE THAN AS A FRIEND? DOES HE LIKE MY FRIEND AS MORE THAN A FRIEND? AM I ANNOYING HIM? CRAZY. CRAZY. CRAZY.

What's next? Insert romantic French movie, as if that's going to help.

6. Watch Heartbreaker. By the way, I really liked it. It's not rated, and it's French, but I have to say, it was pretty clean considering. I liked it, but...

7. CRAZY. CRAZY. CRAZY. Listen to mellow songs like Fake Plastic Trees over and over again.

8. Stay up too late writing a blog about nothing. And here we are.

Things I believe.

2011-09-13T13:22:00.001-06:00

I believe that one day there wont be "religion" as we know it. There will be God and His law, and we will all know it is what it is and we wont have to worry about disagreeing about it. It wont be one united religion, it will be what it is. Truth, Zion, reality.

I believe neon orange was never meant to exist for anything other than traffic cones, and certainly not for clothing.

I believe everything will work out how it should and worrying is a waste of time. That being said, I still worry all the time.

I believe I'll get married and have babies one day. If I can't have the babies, I will adopt an array of them from around the world like Brangelina.

I believe you always get what you're looking for.

I believe wherever you are should be home, and only you can make it that way.

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it." Eleanor Roosevelt

I believe the more you put into anything, the more you get out, good or bad.

I believe the band Heart have the two most bad-a female performers ever.

I believe in loving people, no matter their lifestyles, sins, looks, or lack of social tact. That being said, I am still working on it, and I reserve the right to dislike someone because they love the color orange, Nickelback, Ke$ha, Christian rock, killing things, Jeffery Koons, Georgia O'Keeffe, or Moulin Rouge.

I believe that last statement was ridiculous.

"Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart. " Anne Frank

I believe in a one true God for our world, but in many for endless others.

I believe that you can find a connection with anyone and be there friend, even if you have to ignore other things about them.

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." C. S. Lewis

I believe life is about choosing and you have to choose things, many things I'm sure, but choose you must.

I believe I could watch Star Wars episodes 4-6 one thousand times.

I believe watching episodes 1-3 of Star Wars more than 3 times might kill me.

I believe there's good in too many things to not be insatiably happy most of the time.

"I believe soda will kill you, and I don't think you should have it more than once a week.
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." Audrey Hepburn

I believe vegetables are God's food, and once you know how to use them- they're heavenly.

I believe big poofy hair can be amazing, see Helena Bonham Carter in almost anything, but especially in A Room with a View.

I believe in body hair, more for men, less for women- but in existence for both.

I believe in watching movies at least twice 90 percent of the time.

I believe in watching old sci-fi tv and movies.

"We are what we believe we are." C. S. Lewis

I believe in the 90's.

I believe in my family's capacity to be together for eternity, no matter what they've done or been through.

I believe I'll see my dad again, and I'll hug him, and he'll be taller than me, and his skin will smell like heaven, not coca cola, and he'll give me 5 with his right hand, and it will be amazing!

I believe that my future husband's family will join my family in the dancing/being ridiculous portion of the reception (unlike most of my family weddings where they stare and make fun of our dancing).

I believe my beautiful friends will be beautifully happy and have beautiful lives.

I believe in vitamins.

I believe in reading, music, driving, art, dance, and marshmallows as therapy.

I believe in the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.

I believe that God loves it when we create (pies, paintings, songs, dances, families, scrapbooks, gardens, etc.) because we're practicing to create bigger and better things in the next life.

I believe that free food taste better than food you have to pay for.

I believe you should eat as healthy as possible, but eat some stinkin' candy and pizza sometimes.

I believe that the prettiest women I've ever seen were Asian, and in the airport with geeky white men.

I believe in mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual knowledge.

Also, I believe Gouda and french bread on a train in Paris, followed by shouting, "LACTOSE INTOLERANCE!" can bring the saddest person joy.

I believe in a lot of things, some less important, some more.

Kirk out.

Dear guys.

2011-09-07T19:25:00.001-06:00

This post was inspired by Kaylee, who was inspired by someone, who was inspired by someone. I'll start from the beginning.

Dear 1st Grade Boy,

It sucks that you liked me all year, but you didn't tell me until the day I moved. It also sucks that I threw away those DZ tickets you gave me as a token of your affection, I'd love to have that evidence that a guy liked me tucked away.

Dear Aaron V.,

You were a stoner-douche bag, but I liked you from kindergarten until I moved to Utah in the 8th grade. I still think you are cute, well I don't know what you look like these days, but in my mind you're still cute.

Dear Chris,

I'm sorry I made you eat worms in front of everyone, it's because I liked you.

Dear Brian,

I'm sorry I pushed you down the slide into the hot lava during hot lava monster, it's because I liked you. It's cool that we're friends now. I remember once we got in a debate about if Jesus was born in the spring or the winter. I won because the recess monitor said there wasn't snow in any of the pictures of Jesus, take that.

Dear Daniel U.,

You were Aaron V.'s friend, you were also a stoner-douche bag, but I liked you in the 7th grade. I liked your South Park boxers and your big eyes. You made me cry several times because you were so mean to me, but hey, last I heard you were in prison.

Dear Alex,

I liked you as soon as I moved to Utah. WOW. I love that we're friends and we can laugh about love poems I wrote about you when I was 16. I'm glad we're friends, and that's all we'll ever be. My future husband will probably be jealous of all the journal time I gave you in High School. I love how tall you are, like a "redwood standing above the rest." It pisses me off when you patronize me. I love your family.

Dear Bobblehead,

It's kind of crazy...all of it. I'm sorry I was a crazy crazy person, I was 18 and very naive. It sucks that my crush on you haunted me for my entire undergraduate career. It sucks that people associated me with you for years and even 3 years after we hung out people would say, "Hey, how's he doing?" And I would say, "I have no idea." For a while I wanted to hear anything about you, just to hear about you. Then I didn't want to hear anything. Then I wanted to hear crap about you. Now, well, I don't think about you enough to care what I hear or don't hear about you. So good luck with life and that amazing hair. Even if I sort of think you're a douche bag, you still had good hair.

Dear All the boys I liked in St. George,

I don't remember any of you, not really.

Dear All the guys I've liked in Ogden,

Honestly, I've been trying to replace my father with a new male influence in my life. When my friends are dating and I can fill that male void with their boyfriends, I don't need you. I know it's not healthy. You are all sweet boys, and it will work out with someone sometime for you. I'm glad I don't get to kiss everyone I ever want to kiss, I'd be a slut. Uhhhh, non of you had very good hair. Wait, hot Juan- good job on the hair. Han- best hair!

Dear Current guy,

I like you because you're interesting. I like that you have A LOT of personality. I like you style and your face. You make me laugh and you intrigue me because you're not obsessed with sports. I like that you like a lot of the same things. You should text me. You should ask me out. You give me cocaine brain and date stomach (see glossary). I worry you think I'm dumb because I've haven't been thinking clearly lately (I'm very stressed out because of work and school...and you). I think I like you for you, not just because you're a man who's nice to me. That's good.

Sincerely,

Laura

Glossary:

Cocaine brain: Studies show that the effect of the first three months of dating on the brain are the same chemically as cocaine. This is why it's crucial you date/know each other for more than three months!

Date stomach: Being love sick. You're so stressed about a romantic interest that it gives you a stomach ache. It's good, but it's bad. You don't want to eat, sleeping is difficult, your brain and tummy are mush.

Every second of the night...I live another life

2011-09-03T16:42:00.001-06:00

I had some strange dreams last night. I guess that's what you get when you have a late dinner at the Golden Dynasty, and then talk about The Capeman right before bed.
First I dreamt that Sufjan Stevens had raped and murdered a few people, no biggie. So he was under house arrest until the trial happened. Well that happened to take a few months...and he happened to be under house arrest...in my house, with me!

So sure, he was a bit crazy, but he reformed and we fell in love. So like the Capeman, who went to prison and reformed, Sufjan changed and we loved each other. Then the dream transformed into a movie set about a folk singer and I was like, "Sufjan, it's weird that you made a bunch of electronic music (Age of Adz) for a folk singer movie"...but it didn't matter, because we were in love. I suppose a lot of that thinking came from talking about the techno takeover with Hillary. And then there was the cocaine-brain talk (the chemical effect love has on your brain for the 1st three months- make sure you date for over 3 months people!).

Dream dos. I dreamt that I was in NYC with Hillary and some friends, and we were watching a young George Harrison (my favorite Beatle) do stand-up. George was going to ask me out in front of everyone, but his manager said he couldn't because it would cause a mob with the other girls. So he was going around all the people at my table, making jokes about everyone and trying to get my number. Finally I gave Steve Martin my number to pass on to George, because naturally Steve Martin was doing stand-up there too. In the end George and I dated, and we were in love.

Moral of the story, dreams make a lot more sense while they're happening, and I can get over a lot of big flaws (like raping and killing people, or fame) if I love the guy enough. Thank you dream world.
And now for you eyeball enjoyment:

Boy, those dreams seemed a lot more appealing and wonderful when I had just woken up this morning.
Don't worry, I've got a more substantial post coming your way :)

An actual update on my life, as opposed to ramblings on repeat.

2011-08-28T01:27:00.001-06:00

Once again I blogged about love and life, but then I figured, maybe I should blog about my life in particular...I mean, not just my thoughts, but the events in my life. Wow, that was a ridiculous sentence. So, it's been a busy summer. I took two classes, masters in education science, and a VERY basic technology class. Bleh, they were okay- nothing much to tell there.

I also helped (a VERY little bit) my mom move to Price, Utah. Let's see, what else? I liked a guy and it all seemed very dramatic and important at the time...then it fizzled out. It seems like most things in life are that way. The details seem so very important at the time, and then you realize they're not. Life is up, life is down, but life keeps going. There's too much time, and not enough, but there's always time. I went on some hikes and read some books. I hung out with friends and caught my first fish. I got two new roommates (who are amazing!) and I watched a lot of TV. I was a 6th grade teachers aide for summer school 4 days a week. I went to A Decemberists show, which was AMAZING.
And now onto the now. I've started teaching in my very own art classroom. Fifth and sixth graders. It's scary and grownup, but it's also wonderful and rewarding. I can't wait to post some pictures of their art, it blows my mind. Sometimes when I feel bogged down by the crap like planning curriculum and grading, I remind myself to play the glad game and find all the wonderful things in life.

Wonderful things:
-Listening to good music while the kids create
-Kids who draw themselves as zombies with one eye dangling out of their face
-Kids who say they love me
-Kids who say they love CCR and Journey
-Kids who know more about art than me
-Kids who know about medieval battle tactics and old airplanes
-Kids who say, "THAT'S MY JAM!" in reference to a Cascade song
-Being able to display Muffin Cat in my classroom
-Having a classroom

So life has been stressful and horrifying, but it's also been wonderful. Let's see, what else? Oh, I'm somewhat taking the semester off and I'm only taking one class- social studies. It's gonna be a breeze, and I could use a breeze! I'm burnt out. I'm going to focus on my job, substitute teach, practice the guitar, make my own art, read, run, life weights, hike, and watch the rest of Twin Peaks. I can't wait for some rain and cold weather. I can't wait to wear tights everyday. Oh! I'm going to the temple soon to take out my endowments! So that's super exciting.
Other than that, I'm still the compassionate service person in my ward (yay cupcake brigade and SAOSFHW!), I'm still attending Weber State, I still love my friends and family, I still love cats and bees, I'm still Laura.

All you want is love.

2011-08-28T00:39:00.001-06:00

I love this scene in Across the Universe. I love that whole movie. I love the music. I love the cinematography, lighting, color schemes, sound editing, acting, story, drugged up scenes, boob slip, all of it. This scene however, is my favorite. I LOVE this song. I love the idea of a man feeling this way about me. I love the idea of being loved like that.

But then I worry, what if I'm like Henry Crawford from Mansfield Park, and I'm more interested in being loved than I am in loving someone. Like those girls who are more interested in being married, than they are in the particular man. WAH!!! But then I have a night like tonight. A night where I'm super pensive and calm, but not with the sad bits. Happy pensive. Thoughts bounce around in my head and leave me feeling that all is right in the world and ever will be. Thoughts that tell me I don't have to settle for a sports obsessed Mack daddy who doesn't know anything about science, good music, or art. Thoughts that reassure me that I'm just as excited about giving love as I am about receiving it- after all, the greatest joy in life comes in serving others.

Sure I care about the reception, I admit, I've already planned out how to incorporate Star Wars in the floral arrangements. But that's all phooey. I want a man who feels the way Jude felt in Across the Universe when he met Lucy. I want a man who feels the way Paul McCartney felt when he wrote the song. And on the flip side I want to hear, "I just died in your arms tonight," when I meet him (P.s. If I hear a Minnie Ripperton song in my head when I think about "him" it's just as good as "I just died in your arms tonight."). I know some love starts without a fizzle, but I don't think you should marry someone who doesn't eventually make your heart fizzle. I'm not talking about love at first sight, I'm just talking about love at *sometime before the engagement* sight. They should be piss drunk in love with you, and you with them. No one should have to talk the someone into loving them. He should think I crap sunshine and spit glitter. I know I've posted similar things to this in the past, but I just can't help but think it, and think it, and think it.

So that's it. Don't settle, but don't be close minded. You never know who could make your heart pop some corn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTZVvFn6rmo). Life is beautiful, the good and the bad. The heartaches help you appreciate the love more, and the waiting and searching is worth it. I'll just be a "good girl" and it will happen at the right time, in the right place, and with the right someone.
That's all. This last video is one of my others favorite songs from Across the Universe, enjoy.

I miss blogging.

2011-08-22T23:00:00.001-06:00

My life has been brain soup.

I think of so many blogs all the time. I write them in my head but when I finally find the time to write them down on blogger, I've forgotten them. I will blog more, I promise. It's been busy. I taught my first 2 days of school. I start my social studies class this Thursday. I have a cold. I have had waaaay to much time to think. I need to set some goals.

This painting is called "Choosing Everything" and it's by Brian Kershisnik. I feel like this, like everything feels full up...but the thing is, it's not really.

Poor men, poor poor men.

2011-07-08T14:59:00.001-06:00

Women love to complain about men, and how women have it bad. Men love to complain about women, and how men have it bad. Well guess what? I LOVE BEING A WOMAN. Well okay, I wish I could properly pee when standing, oh what a freedom that must be! I wish I could let my leg hair grow into a glorious fuzz. I wish I could grow a proper mustache and not be a freak. But I would hate to be a man. I would hate to get "excited" so easily, and not only that, but to have the evidence of such feelings on display. I would hate to be a freak if my boobs got bigger. I mean, I can't grow a mustache and be a proper woman, but men can't get moobs and be a proper men. I get to wear dresses. I get to have glorious long hair. I get to paint my nails. I get to put on makeup and wear toe rings. Yes, men can do all of these things- but I can do them without negative social impact for the most part. Men can't have babies. Men can't wear one piece suits. Men can't wear all of the glorious jewelry they want without being douche-bags. Boy oh boy, do I love being a woman. Poor men, poor poor men.

Moobs, poor kid.

Poor men. Women have it bad I suppose, you know with the whole, "I wanna lose 3 pounds" thing. But think about it, there's a huge plus size movement, or as some prefer to call it- full figured, or real sized. Where's the Husky movement?

Google "hot plus size women" or "plus size models" and you'll find tons of hits!

Now google "husky men" or "plus size male models" and what do you find?


This is the most legit plus size male model I could find. A. He isn't very fat, and B. He's hot	.

Jokes, creepy jokes, buff men, and that's it. I love me, and I know if I gain five pounds of curves it's a-okay. Men, poor things, if they gain 5 pounds of curves (not of the muscle sort) it's a no-go.

Now I'm sure some of you ladies like the teddy-bear type, and that's super- but it's not the point. I'm not talking about what you or I are attracted to. I'm just saying, give the boys a break, they've got there own crap to deal with. Women are glorious:
But so are men:

It's easy to complain about the opposite sex, but wouldn't it just be so much more fun to love them! Women have it tough, but so do men. Life is rough, but it's splendid! Love it! Love men!
No reason for this picture- I just felt like it.

Ultimate Battle!

As always, this post is disconnected and complete mind vomit, enjoy.

Recent hikes!

2011-07-02T02:22:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to share some hikes I've done recently!
The first was last Saturday, a hike I've been dreading for a year. Last fall when I attempted to do this hike with my ward I had to turn back, but I kicked this beast in the butt!
Waterfall Canyon, Ogden, Utah!

I forgot how to use my panorama setting on my camera


Here I am at the top!

This hike was tough! It's not that long, 3 miles round trip, but it's steep! I'm not used to this! In St. George hikes seemed a little more up and down, but here they all seem up and up! Steep and rocky, yes, but beautiful for sure! I even made it past the horrifying river crossing!
This week it was the Indian Trail! The Indian Trail, which I hiked FOR AMERICA!, was longer, but not so jagged. One way, which was all we did, was 4.3 miles up and around a mountain. It was hard and my bod-ay was as sweaty as all get out by the end, but it was glorious! There were a lot of wildflowers, steep inclines, switchbacks, and bugs- but mostly there was a lot of beauty!

P.s I googled these pictures

Just keep swimming...more like kick the crap out the water until it's a bloody pulp!

2011-06-30T14:49:00.085-06:00

A Spanish proverb states, "Where there is love, there is pain." Or in lay man's terms, "Love stinks."

Perhaps the CREEPIEST digital creation ever.

Okay, well let's face it...I'm not in love, nowhere near it. I've never been, not really. I was in like, and that like was mushed real bad. And I want to point out that this post is not directed toward any one girl or guy in any way! It's not about the specifics, it's about the patterns and the situations. I'm not mad at someone, I'm mad at romance. It seems to be a pattern. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend.

In this scenario, I'm not the lady.

Or, my personal favorite, like a guy, he thinks of you as the coolest non-related sister/mom/friend ever. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends.

I got a little out of hand...class was REALLY boring.

Yeah, it gets old after a while. So it's happened again, but guess what, I'm not going to sit around crying! It's time to kick it in gear and take matters into my own heart. I'm tired of waiting around with a Cinderella complex. I'm not waiting for a fairy godmother, I'm getting out there and I'm sewing my own dress! Who needs a dang pumpkin, I've got an old Buick! And those mice- poop on them, I'll make the prince do things for me!

Step 1: Love me more than ever. Love men too. I need to be myself to the max! I shouldn't have to change for a man in the beginning. I can see making changes or whatever in marriage, but in the early stages he should think magic stars spout from my eyes and rainbow-magic music pours from my lips. I should think he's the shiz, and I should most definitely think to myself, "I would have to explain his being ugly to people." It's time to revamp and remember to exercise for me, eat healthy for me, go to bed earlier, work harder, do things I actually love- as opposed to just doing things, and think happy thoughts! He should think my hair is flaxen star-shine and my body is a Venus, and so should I!

Venus, goddess of love!

So I should love myself, but I should also love men. I've loved men for as long as I can remember. Just because a lot of them seem to be d-bags and idiots, doesn't mean I should resent, dislike, or even hate them. Guess what? There are a lot of d-bag and idiot women, and sometimes I fit the description. Hating men won't solve any problems, and well, I just love men!

Step 2: Try new things. It's like Dr. Alexander says, (I'm paraphrasing here) "You've got to get out and try new things. Join a club. Sign up for a class. I don't know what, or where, or when. But I've got to try. Any suggestions? I think in the fall I will sign up for a hiking class. And maybe I can find some things in the community.

Step 3: Meet new people.
I have to mix it up. I love my friends, but as far as men go- I've got to branch out. If the men in my life were going to ask me out, then they should have done it by now. This goal goes hand-in-hand with goal 2, and this coming week me and my beloved cousin Hillary are going to make some game plans. In addition to finding things to join, I need to be brave and go to things I'm invited to. Sometimes I get a text to hang out with people, including men I don't normally hang out with, and I pass it by. No more! If I don't have a good reason I can't say no! Seize the day, it could be a flop, or it could be a Frank, or a Fred! My dream cat-loving manly man could be out there, waiting to sweep, and spoon, me away!

http://www.menandcats.com/

Step 4: Canoodle with new men (who don't know my friends). 1 led to 2, and 2 to 3, so naturally 4 is highly connected to 3. Haha...The point is, while I'm meeting these new people I will be canoodling with new men ;) The gist of this blog is that I am the master of my fate...sort of...haha, that's a whole separate story. I can love me. I can try new things. I can meet new people. I can canoodle, in the non-slutty sense, with new men! When we are knocked down we should get back up again and find someone to make out with- it's simple logic. Easier said than done maybe, but here I go!

P.S. You know I'll be blogging about men and what I think I know in a few weeks, because the truth is...I know nothing :)

FOOD Re-vamp.

2011-06-05T15:01:00.000-06:00

Once again, unhealthy foods are taking over! It's time for a summer detox.
Step one: BUY these books.
(These actually are in a particular order, the Slim for Life one is better than the You Are What You Eat, but the Food Bible is a great companion for either)

I just LOVE LOVE Dr. Gillian McKeith. My affair all started with BBCA and her show, You Are What You Eat. Then I bought the book. Then I lost 45 pounds and felt great. Then I started working out a lot and stopped losing weight and I've been feeling icky. Answer, I'm not doing what Gillian would want me to do. On a side note, I don't want to sound like I'm in a creepy cult and Gillian is my leader, but she's hilarious and brilliant....and it fits the flow of this post. So yeah.

Today's menu.
Breakfast: Fruit smoothie. Quick Oats.
Lunch: Cantalope, watermelon, strawberries
20 mins later: Lettuce, spinach, kidney beans, clover sprouts (which I've always hated...but am surprised to find, am enjoying), tofu, fresh cilantro, dry spices
YUM! I hope I'm smart and I keep it up. I know I can do it. I've done it before!

I can't wait to make the mung bean casserole! I never thought I'd say that. Here are some of her other bean recipes that are free online: BEANS!!! (I love beans and tofu as a meat alternative!)
Step two: Get you some fresh food! Lucky for me I've found a super cheap and wonderful produce place!
Carlos' Produce

Step three: Become super healthy! Whether you want to lose weight, gain weight, maintain, become healthier, etc. This is the plan for you. Uccck. This is a commercial isn't it? Hmm...okay. It's a commercial for healthy, natural, organic if possible, healthy, unprocessed, colorful, flavorful food! It's a commercial for exercise! Yay running and weight training! Yay hiking, biking, tennis, walks, laser tag and dancing!

Ironic part of the blog: I just made a batch of cupcakes...but they're not for me! I did however eat one mini cupcake, see Gillian's 90/10 rule (Slim for Life)! Seriously, I should get an endorsement cut or something.

Milking a cow- connectivity?

2011-05-18T23:42:00.001-06:00

This is going to be comparatively brief.
For the last year or so I've decided I wanted to milk a cow. It just sounded earthy and cool, plus my grandma used to have a pet cow and she told me all about her.

Well, I got my chance today! I went on a field trip with the third graders to a farm in Logan, Utah and I got to milk a cow. It was glorious for some reason. I only got to squeeze her for a minute, so my new goal is to fill a bucket, or at least part of one- you know, a real milking.

Her udder was really warm and soft, not quite like I expected. It was cool to see hands on where milk comes from. I mean obviously I knew where milk came from, but to feel it and to see it- woah. And here's the weird part that I hope someone out there gets besides me. It somehow got me feeling way less creeped out by breastfeeding. I mean, I'm a big supporter of breast feeding- it's the way to go, but it's always creeped me out. I mean, they're boobs!

I guess it's a part of the whole connectivity thing. I was connected to my food. I was connected to Earth and her beautiful creatures. I was connected with my senses. I was connected with life. Connection led to understanding, and therefore a lessening of the creepy factor. Breast feeding is about connectivity between a mother and child. It's about survival. It's about life, Earth, senses, and beauty. It's interesting to ponder is all.

Music player: yay or nay?

2011-05-17T22:52:00.001-06:00

Hello blog readers. I wanted to know your thoughts on the music player I added. I used to hate it when people had a music player on their blog, but recently I've started following two blogs (http://bmwphotographyblog.blogspot.com/ and http://maggiesprocess.blogspot.com/) with music players and it's been great! I've discovered several new delightful songs and found myself going back to their blogs just to listen. With their blogs as inspiration I made up a play-list and posted a music player. So, what do you say, keep it- or it's annoying? Let me know, your comments will make the difference.

P to the s, this wonderful song has been in my head all day! It's been delightful!

RAT TAIL BATTLE!!!

2011-05-16T02:04:00.000-06:00

Recently I had the opportunity to coach some third graders for a elementary math competition (ironic considering how I hated math in H.S.). When we finally got to the competition I was brimming with pride for my students! I was beat read and I kept saying to myself, "I'm pleased as punch!" I nearly cried a few times! My third grade kids took 2nd in KRYPTO and 1st in Soma cubes. My fifth graders placed in Soma and Catapult (they build and fire a catapult made of newspaper, popsicle sticks, rubber bands, a spoon, and a 6-inch piece of string), and the sixth graders placed in Soma and Catapult. Pleased as punch was I!!!

BUT, I must admit, one of the highlights of the day way this:

On of my students (they're on the right) has a double rattail, much like this:

While one of the students from another school (they took 1st) had one big rattail:

In my head I was screaming, "DOUBLE RAT TAIL BATTLE!!! EPIC MATH BATTLE! THREE RAT TAILS TOTAL!" Insert explosion noises here.

It was glorious.

What a joy I have found, I can't wait to coach something else!

I CAN DO EVERYTHING ON MY OWN!

2011-05-16T01:41:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking about love again, big surprise. The other day my mother suggested that men like to do things for women, and perhaps my independence isn't always a good thing. Initially this really bothered me. I thought of the silly giggling girls who seem to snatch up all of the dates and immediately I went into defensive-mode. Thoughts like this started streaming through my head:

I said, "I don't need anything! I can do things myself, and anything I can't do now I can figure out and then do it myself." I asked some guy friends what they thought. They agreed with my mom, they like to do things for girls. I was still foaming at the mouth with my teenage feminist angst.

I tried to think of things I wanted from men that I could not supply myself. I said, "I cannot grow beautiful chest hair. I cannot grow a glorious mustache. I cannot kiss myself- at least not properly." The angst continued, seeded in the fear that I would have to alter my behavior or personality to appear more like the giggly girls I saw getting dates all the time.

But then I started to think about one of the married couples that I currently look up to.

Marriage can be happy, peaceful, and eternal. I always knew it could be eternal, it's the other stuff I didn't get. When I was in the fifth grade my friend said to me in tears, "Your parents never fight! Mine are always fighting..." I remember feeling really grateful for my parents because it was true. Recently though, I think I understood how my friend felt that day. I've been hanging out at my friend Emily's house a lot. Her parents are amazing. They got married when they were about 30. They skipped a lot of the crap other people go through in young marriages. They do however wish they could have started younger sometimes (or so I've heard).

If Mrs. T needs something Mr. T jumps (literally) out of his chair and gets it for her. Mrs. T. does the same for Mr. T. They're not in competition and it's without guile. They genuinely want to help each other. They love each other so much and I can see their vitality and eagerness for life, and for their relationship. Their Christlike love extends to their children. When Emily gets home they immediately get up and ask what they can do for her. I wondered if this was an act for guests (though I could tell it wasn't) and asked Emily, "Are your parents always like that?..." Here I was, years later, in my friend from California's shoes. And here I was, thinking I knew so much about relationships (not that I've ever been in one) and marriage, learning something new.

I in no way want to speak ill of my wonderful parents, they mean the world to me. I saw their love for each other before my father's death, and I see it now after. But the desperate love and need for each other is more attainable than I ever imagined, and it doesn't have to wait for death. I can love my spouse completely. I can get along with him most (if not all) of the time. I can't really articulate what I've learned from the T's, but I think it ties into the question bouncing about in my head. Letting men do things for me doesn't mean I'm less than, it just means I'm humble enough to let someone help me. It means I'm willing to let someone in. The point is, love is real, love is in our reach if we give it freely.

Men like to do things for women.

A. I realized this does not mean I have to pretend to be a lot more giggly than I am (don't get me wrong, I have the sense of humor or a little boy and I love to laugh), or play dumb.

B. It's not about my being dumb and helpless, and therefore needing a man to do everything for me. I think it's about helping each other. Like Mr. and Mrs. T, it's not about one being helpless and the other babying them. It's about loving each other and doing as much as you can to show your love and assist them in any way you can (for me that might include growing a tender blond caterpillar above your lips). My mother pointed out that for her this realization had a lot to do with humility and accepting help from others (p to the s, my mom is dating and that's why she was thinking about this stuff too- you go mom!).

It's not a demeaning thing to accept help from others. I love to serve- it bonds me to those I serve. When I'm having a hard time with someone I try to think of ways to serve them. I suppose I shouldn't deny men the opportunity to serve me. I need to close the high school debate door in my brain, and look at things from an eternal, humble, and logical perspective. When my sister cuts my hair I do not feel dumb or weak. When my brother works on my car I do not feel subservient. When my brother's and home teacher's give me a blessing I do not feel loved of God any less. On the contrary I feel closer to my siblings and my God for the services rendered.

So, is this idea of letting men do things for me, as a part to wooing them, such a bad thing. I don't think so. But let me get a few things straight. I am a strong woman, and I come from a strong line of women. I guess by traditional definitions (women have been mistreated in the past and it should change) I am a feminist. I guess I just see women from a gospel perspective, a perspective of adoration from God for all of His children, both men and women equally. I see myself as beautiful and strong, and I see men as beautiful and strong. I love dresses and makeup, but I also love poop humor and bugs. I love a strong man who is willing to work hard to lead his family with his helpmeet by his side. I see women in the priesthood and in the work of God. I believe that one day I will marry a lovely man in the temple and together we will rear a nice family. Together we will run 5ks, go on hikes, read books, travel, mud wrestle, camp, paint, work, clean, build, pray, worship, cook, scream, sing, dance, parent, serve, and love together. I don't know how I will get there, but I have confidence that I will- and maybe this knew thinking will get me closer. Find ways to serve others, and allow others to serve me.

And just for kicks and giggles:

"I'd be a lesbian for 50 cents." -Laura S.

QUOTE

2011-04-28T01:02:00.000-06:00

“I believe that humanity is largely motivated by a sense of belonging to something we haven’t quite seen yet but can almost remember. Being awkward is a part of life.” -Brian Kershisnik

Just a thought about artists and I guess people in general

2011-04-28T00:51:00.000-06:00

It's often that I get annoyed by musicians when they tend to go off in their own music world. You'll be at a show and loving it, but then the performers will just go crazy and do a 20 minute instrumental section that seems to be disconnected noise- hello indie music. I remember one time I was at a show and afterwords one of the people I was with was all giddy about meeting the band (it was Clap Your Hands Say Yeah a few months before they were in Rolling Stone). I asked him why he was being so geeky about it and his response was, "They know music, and that means they know me." I always thought it was the douche-iest thing I'd ever heard, and I still find it entertaining, but I think I get it now.

I do the same thing with art. Musicians get obsessed with sounds (Sufjan Stevens) and sometimes it seems like only musicians like it because they "get it." I have created several paintings that are just about paint. I think every painting should be partly about paint, like music should be partly about the music, but art (in all forms) can't always be just about the medium.

I think it's this line of thought that is helping me appreciate Cy Twombly's art for the first time ever.
Sometimes it's okay to paint about paint, and sometimes it's okay to have a song about music. I imagine that giant bobble-head of a person must have felt the way I feel when I look at a beautiful painting about paint. When I can tell the artist is getting something I get, and in that moment where I'm looking at their art we have a Zion.

Sometimes the art is about the medium and sometimes it's about the subject, but sometimes it's about both. I think a successful work of art can be about the paint alone, but it cannot only be about the subject. If all you want to say is, "Here is the subject," take a picture. I guess it's the same with music. If you just want to say something, a disregard the musical merit of it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0) than just say it, don't even bother with the music.
What I previously saw as a musician-snob trait, I now see as an everyone trait. Scientist do it, visual artists, lawyers, educators, writers, musicians, performers, doctors, salt and pepper shaker collectors- they all have their own shop talk, and they all do it. I guess the point is that I should stop separating the musicians and getting mad because they do what I do in my own way all the time. Perhaps part of my frustration is rooted in jealousy. I want to know what they know, and I don't. But there's hope! I've felt that same feeling of "getting" a brushstroke or painting, only with music! Example: Sufjan Stevens. I really felt like I got what he was saying at his show I went to- maybe that sounds dumb and maybe I didn't get it, but it all fit so well. The lights, the graphics, the music, the lyrics- I was lost in it all and I felt that I knew just where it was going.

I'm falling asleep and once again I've written a disconnected and raw post- enjoy.

Retraction

2011-04-20T01:26:00.001-06:00

In case anyone caught my last last blog, ignore it. I was having an existential freak-out of sorts. I don't want to stop blogging. I do agree with what I said though...because I said it? Anyway, more blogs to come...and definitely more freak-outs.

Enjoy: toothpastefordinner.com
(This makes me miss Sister Crystal Turner!)
Oh no! Toothpastefordinner isn't so funny anymore...now it's just vulgar and whiny...if you do check it out go for the old cartoons, like circa 2003ish

My last blog

2011-04-17T16:19:00.001-06:00

I've decided to stop blogging. I guess I just got tired of writing in my journal and making it public. I can't put in any of the juicy details or personal bits, and well, maybe it's just a sad attempt to get views or try to validate my owns opinions. I'm not trying to harsh on anyone else's blog. There are some great blogs out there and I really appreciate keeping up with friends, but my blog isn't about that anymore.

For my last post I want to mention some lessons I've learned over the last year, and in true Laura-blogging form, I'll present it as a list.
1. This lesson supersedes all of my other lessons. I can't teach anyone anything. I can't make someone know something. I can't give anyone sufficient answers. So many people are searching for complex answers to complex questions, but the truth is- that's all crap. You'll spend years, and probably your lifetime, searching for answers in vain, when the truth is you already know the answers. The truth is simple. We want someone else to do the work for us and to give us satisfying answers to life's conundrums, but only we can find the answers for ourselves. I've learned so many lessons this year, none of which I can begin to explain on a blog. I can't give your the answers- that's up to you and God, whoever that is to you (I can't tell you who that is either).

Okay, so I wrote several more lessons, but then I realized it was all pointless to share. Lesson one says it all. So here's a reading list, take it or leave it :)

The Life and Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith by Truman G. Madsen
Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage
Anything from Hugh Nibley
My favorite quote
The Joseph Smith papers
The King Follett Sermon
The Fisherman and his Wife by the Brothers Grimm

If you're doing what you should be doing, then you'll be doing what you should be doing. The more good you do, the more good you do. You always find what you're looking for.

All over the place...life your mom.

2011-03-15T00:53:00.001-06:00

So first I should start by getting a few things out of the way.

I really botched up the 14 Days of Valentine's this year. What did I do, 2 or 3? But you know what- my whole year has been about loving myself and others. Since I got my calling last spring as the Compassionate Service Leader in my ward I've tried to focus on serving others- and it's made me so happy!
I mentioned healthy things for my first couple of Valentine's activities, and that's been a big focus for me the last few months. I've got a Wellness Coach (she helps me make goals and keep track of them. She also helps me talk things through and look at my victories and find ways to challenge myself) and a personal trainer. I go running 2-3 days a week...well, I'm working my way up. I started only being able to run for 1 minute intervals, with 3 minutes of walking in between, but now I can run for 11 minutes straight! It's exciting to see my progression and push myself. I always wanted to run, but for the first time in my life it's happening! My personal trainer is helping me with strength training, something I've never really done before! At first I thought it was awful, but now I see how wonderful it can be. I weight train 3 days a week. I feel myself getting strong and hey, I've lost 10 more pounds! I also like to toss in pilates, and I tried yoga- I need to make myself go back more...it's SO hard! And this week I'm trying out lap swimming!
Some of my long term goals include running some 5ks this summer, buying some nice jeans, and hiking that #%m@$! waterfall hike all the way to the top!!!
Spiritually I've been trying to improve myself too! I've been listening to LDS talks all year, but more recently I started listening to Hugh Nibley talks! Hugh Nibley is amazing and he says it like it is. Sometimes it's tough, and the truth hurts, but I just love him!
As important as it is to be physically fit, it's even more important to be spiritually fit! BUT! I think to be our best spiritually, we have to be strong physically, and in contrast to be our best physically we have to be strong spiritually! Our bodies and spirits are SO connected, it's ridiculous!
Hmm let's see...I've also purchased a guitar and I'm attempting to learn how to play. Let's just say...it's a slow process for the rhythmically and coordination-challenged.

I'm also trying to get ready to do my Masters in Education project, apply for jobs in the fall, and learn to garden and bake bread...so LIFE IS AWESOME! Did I succeed to presenting regular blogs in the last few moths, no. Is life moving along anyway, yes.

So, I meant for that to be a brief note...but I'm Laura. Originally I was going to list my turn-ons and turn-offs, basically repeating this post I did: http://lauraconsistentlyinconsistent.blogspot.com/2010/01/so-i-was-driving-through-campus-and.html SO, I got this far:

"Turn-offs:
Picky eaters. I want a man who will eat what I give him. I want a man who likes to try new food. I want a man who will eat any flavor hummus I concoct. I'm not saying he can't have a few dislikes, I don't like peppers or rye bread, but let's not get crazy.
Swearing. Okay, now here's where I get really hypocritical. I've definitely done a lot of swearing in my life. Most especially in the 7-8th grade (My mouth was dirtier than a 20 year-old latrine boiling in West Virginia). BUT! I can't help it, when I hear a man swear I cringe and think, "Ick, really?" Now I don't swear as much these days, but I slip here and there. So I guess I should be more forgiving of men who occasionally slip too. Hmm, maybe. I'll be honest though, a certain man I find very attractive said the "D" word, and maybe one or two other little ones in my presence, and I got over it. So maybe this turn-off is a secondary one. I'd prefer it if swearing wasn't a regular occurrence, but if you slip here or there, or throw in a "D" word- I'll probably forgive you. But as a general rule, swearing is stupid!
Showing off your underclothes, tramp stamp canvas, or happy trails. Don't get me wrong, one day I might want to see your manscape- but save it for the honeymoon. Now you might be thinking, "Hey baby, I'm just giving you a preview." But guess what, it's more like the when I saw the trailer for RENT. I knew I didn't want it 39 seconds in. The best preview you can give is clothing that fits. Jeans, pants, suits, shorts, onesies- bring them on! Okay...so I don't want to see your crack, lower back, or...well, anyway, I don't want to see it. But even more, I don't want to see your LDS garments. Garments are a personal and sacred thing, and there isn't a whole lot more that turns me off than seeing your personal business hanging out the back. Oh and ps, we can see your bum through them. So A. I feel uncomfortable for seeing your sacred undies, and B. I can see you bum. Lesson: Cover up! For now...bwahahaha.
Liking lame bands. If I ask you, "What kind of music do you like? Specifically, which bands?" And you answer, "Nickleback, Creed, Atreyu etc." You've just been tested, and you FAILED.
Being too beefy. I'm not saying you shouldn't work out! Do, it's wonderful for your health! I can see how it would get addicting to, weight training I mean, but take back a few notches. If you can't have your arms parallel to your torso, you've gone too far. If your arms are wider than my thighs, you've really gone too far. If you have cleavage that exceeds an Olsen twin in a push-up, you may have gone too far. If you have more than 6 visible ab muscles, you've gone too far (I count 8 here, he's gone too far. Plus, eww.)If I can't see your Adam's-apple because your neck and shoulder muscles swallowed it, you've gone too far. Let's all be healthy, but let's not be obsessed. Moderation in all things guys!"

AND THEN...I realized it was a dumb post. How can my life be so busy and wonderful, but my mind still finds the time to obsess about men? Curse you men and your mind control! I'm not looking for someone perfect...usually I'm not even looking. But always the thinking...always the analyzing...always the wishing...and then usually the feeling pathetic about it. HA. I know just how Wolverine feels.

Life is too wonderful to clutter your mind with necessary things. For example, here are a few good things I've experienced:
The Punch Brothers live at the Egyptian Theater in Ogden, Utah. I was continually smitten by all of them.

Change of Sunday Meeting House! We now meet in the building right behind my house so I can walk to church, and we went from 9 am to 1 pm until further notice!
Working for the school district to help with evaluations. It's been great seeing all of the schools, teachers, and classrooms! Also...money is nice.
Finding two new roommates! Jernae and Charity are moving in at the beginning of June!
Coming Attraction: MY MOM VISITING ME!

Holi Festival!
Kid History 4
So life is good...and men are too...but that doesn't mean I should think about the latter all the time.

BEEF up your tuna.

2011-03-06T22:43:00.001-07:00

I have other posts in the works, but for now I wanted to share something yummy.
I love tuna fish sandwiches. Love em. But they can be quite unhealthy. Mayo out the wazoo, bread choice, and extras (cheese for a patty melt) can make your meal ridiculous. And so I wanted to share some yummy and healthy alternatives to dress up the amazing tuna fish sandwich.

Use Vegenaise. I LOVE this stuff. It comes in several varieties, all vegan. Rather than using animal fat it uses olive oils, vegetable oil, etc. And of course it tastes wonderful!

Add some lettuce. I prefer green leaf.
Add avocado, don't mix it in, spread it on the bread.
Add apple cut into little pieces

Other add-ins:
tomato
grapes
spinach
cucumbers
hummus
thinly sliced raw zucchini
onion
green onion
pickle
peppers
sprouts

Yummy! Here's my version of ants on a log! Sorry the picture is blurry- I used my phone bc I couldn't wait to eat it! Celery with fresh crushed peanut butter, raw honey, and chocolate covered sunflower seeds!

The Third Day of Valentines

2011-02-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

In true Laura fashion, my third Day of Valentine's completely contradicts my previous health-pumped days. For my thrid day I was feeling awful- I'm sure it's chemical. My favorite artist said, more or less, at an open house, "If nothing is working, and everything is terrible, and everyone is terrible- it's probably chemical."

So what's my solution for an injured foot, a disheartening "talk" with someone about my work performance, anxiety, and overall poopy feelings? ICE CREAM!

Now I realize it's never a good idea to eat my feelings- but it's not a regular occurence. I usual listen to music, work out, or rant my feelings when I'm feeling awful (and now I sometimes play the guitar!). So I wanted some ice cream therapy and I ate a bowl of ice cream. I wont lie, I wanted someone to bring me ice cream so I didn't have to walk on my muscle strained foot- but in the end I bucked up and went to the store for some cookies and cream. I don't have any junk food on hand, I guess I always figure if I want it enough to go buy it, then I can have it.
So there you have it, the third day- I ate some major empty and delicious calories.

The Second Annual: 14 days of Valentines!

2011-02-03T00:37:00.001-07:00

Remember the great event?! It's on again! 14 Days of appreciating love, Laura, and life! Here's a link to last years celebration. 

As Shelly said last year, "A 14 day celebration of all things lovely and a countdown to the  holiday d'amour! Everyday we are to complete some romantically exciting  task. If you are single or have always been indifferent or perhaps even  bitterly loathed V- Day, that is ok. You can take this as an opportunity  to fall madly in love with yourself."

So, in an effort to skip redundancy I'll just start in on this year. If you want to read up on the description, or last years events- read the old blogs. 

Day 1, 2011: For day one I was good to my body and spirit. I discovered a great liking for yoga at FHE and taught a lesson on gratitude and service. Here is a clip from said lesson:   

"Julie B. Beck said in the March 2008 CES fireside:  “The…young adult years are usually times of great self-interest. There are so many decisions to make, and it is easy to be turned inward. The first thing I…would encourage you to do is forget yourself. You should probably be participating in fewer activities that are meant merely to entertain when you could and should be finding ways to make life a little easier for someone else. The quickest way to find friends, to find happiness, to feel grateful, and to have the companionship of the Spirit is to get on your knees and ask the Lord, “Who needs my help today?” and then begin helping.” 

I know we’re all busy and we have work, school, homework, facebook, whatever- but we can always find time to serve. We don’t have to plan elaborate service projects to help other children of God. Service can be as simple as picking up trash on the street, smiling at someone, inviting people to play games at your house, heart attacking a friend, making someone a card, participating in church activities, or limitless other things. Service isn’t always about toil and time (though service that involves those things can be incredibly rewarding). Service is about love and friendship and sharing that with other people...

Sister Beck continued, “You could serve as individuals or prayerfully organize yourselves in your callings with your single-adult groups, ward and institute groups, and Relief Societies and priesthood quorums; together you would be able to make a difference for good in the world. Most service opportunities are found very close to home, within your families and wards. You are now old enough and mature enough to lead out in planning and organizing these types of activities. You also know how to receive answers to prayers to learn what the Lord would have you do. As you look outward, the Spirit will be with you to guide you in all the life-changing decisions you are making because the Spirit always accompanies righteous service. You will not have any trouble finding places to serve. While you serve with your peers, you will form good friendships and have meaningful social experiences."

After giving the lesson we made cards and listened to a mix cd of mostly classic rock. Overall, I'd say the evening was a success and I felt an appreciation for myself and my body.

Day 2: Tuesday was all about my well being. I went to a wellness coach and made 3 month goals with her. She also set me up with a personal trainer, and that evening I "got my sweat on" on the treadmill.

Lazy book reviews :)

2011-02-03T00:00:00.001-07:00

I thought I'd briefly mention a few books I've read lately. The first is Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank B. Gilbreth, Ernestine Gilbreth Carey

Honestly I had a hard time getting into this one. I loved it, and I love the stories- but it didn't keep me in it. So I took a break and read Kira-Kira by Cynthia Kadohata, and something else...but, being the queen of the worst memory ever...I can't remember the other book I read in between...Any who, I also read I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith (but I'll review that next). So some of you might be saying, Cheaper by the Dozen must have been a crap book- but despite taking a break in the middle of it, I really liked it. The stories were full of wisdom and wit, and they were all around funny and entertaining.

I loved it when they talked about baby talk and how their father thought baby talk was dumb (he said it but didn't believe it I suppose, because he was caught baby talking when he thought no one could hear him.) I suppose I like this bit because I abhor baby talk. I might, MIGHT, baby talk to a dog, but most certainly not to a human at any age. So here's a clip about baby talk:

"Dad had long held theories about babies and, with the arrival of Anne, he was anxious to put them to a test. He believed that children, like little monkeys, were born with certain instincts of self-preservation but that the

instincts vanished because babies were kept cooped up in a crib. He was convinced that babies stated learning things from the very minute they were born, and that it was wrong to keep them in a nursery. He always forbade baby talk in the presence of Anne or any of his subsequent offspring. “The only reason a baby talks baby talk,” he said, “is because that’s all he's heard from grownups. Some children are almost full grown before they learn that the whole world doesn't speak baby talk.”"Dad" wouldn't allow baby talk and he would talk to the babies in an intelligent way.

The nurse (or nanny) thought it was foolish and said this: The German nurse whom Dad had employed was scornful. “Why she can't understand a thing you say,” the nurse told Dad. “How do you know?” Dad demanded. "I like "Dad's" response because I think babies understand a lot more than people think. So overall, I'd rate the book a 6 out of ten. It was smart and fun. It was interesting, but it didn't suck me in and keep me in.

Next I'll mention I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. I read this book because I was talking to my friend Rouchelle about skinny dipping and streaking. It was from there that Rouchelle was reminded of how the main character's (Cassandra Mortmain) step mother (Topaz) would commune with nature (aka streak), and more importantly how at one point in the story Cassandra lays out in the sun nude. Here is an excerpt:

"While I was hanging my bathing-suit out of the bedroom window, I had a sudden longing to lie in the sun with nothing on. I never felt it before--Topaz has always had a monopoly of nudity in our household- but the more I thought of it, the more I fancied it. And I had the brilliant idea of doing my sunbathing where nobody working in the fields or wandering up our lane could possibly see me. It felt most peculiar crawling naked up the cold, rough stone steps-exciting in some mysterious way I couldn't explain to myself. Coming out at the top was glorious, warmth and light fell round me like a great cape. The leads were so hot that they almost burnt the soles of my feet; I was glad I had thought of bringing up a blanket to spread. on the top of the bedroom tower, It was beautifully private. That tower is the best-preserved of them all; the circle of battlements is complete, though there are a few deep cracks--a marigold had seeded in one of them. Once I lay down flat I couldn't even see the battlements without turning my head. There was nothing left but the sun-filled dome of the cloudless sky. What a difference there is between wearing even the skimpiest bathing-suit and wearing nothing! After a few minutes I seemed to live in every inch of my body as fully as I usually do in my head and my hands and my heart. I had the fascinating feeling that I could think as easily with my limbs as with my brain--and suddenly the whole of me thought that Topaz's nonsense about communing with nature isn't nonsense at all. The warmth of the sun felt like enormous hands pressing gently on me, the flutter of the air was like delicate fingers. My kind of nature-worship has always had to do with magic and folklore, though sometimes it turned a bit holy. This was nothing like that. I expect it was what Topaz means by "pagan." Anyway, it was thrilling."

Sorry, I realize it's rather long, but that's some sweet self awareness/discovery right thuuurr! In a way I feel like that except sums up the whole story. That's not to say that it's a nude romp of a story, but rather a coming of age story that takes us along for some of Cassandra's life lessons and the changes that take place in her family. I REALLY enjoyed it because self awareness and meta-cognition have been a big part of my life this year, and I think this book illustrates a version of those things beautifully. It's not a happy ending/love story necessarily, but I think it's perfect just as it is. I don't recommend the movie, which is R rated for nudity (communing with nature), because it takes out the best bits about social tact and Cassandra's thoughts. And the movie totally screws up the last conversation Cassandra has with her love interest. Boo you whore to the movie. But Gruel to the book!

Other than that I read Nine Days A Queen: The Short Life and Reign of Lady Jane Grey by Ann Rinaldi. It was okay. I liked learning about the chronology of royalty after Henry the 8th and before Elizabeth, but it was just okay. I mean really...I have nothing more to say about it.

So that's what I've read recently...oh and I listened to The Life and Teachings of The Prophet Joseph Smith by Truman G. Madsen. I recommend that book a million times over! I learned so much from it. SERIOUSLY. A million times over!!!

Nest on the docket, Matilda by Roald Dahl and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

A super healthy and delicious lunch.

2011-01-09T14:03:00.002-07:00

Not mine, just an example

Ingridients:
raw tortillas- cooked on skillet, no butter or anything else that would taint there flavor!
1 can black beans (I rinse mine to get rid of the extra junk they're sitting in)
1/4 red onion, chopped into salsa sized bites- I use a lot b/c I loves me some onion
cucumber, also chopped to salsa sized bites- to your liking
tomato, also chopped to salsa sized bites- lots!
avocado-to your liking, I like a lot!
lettuce (I prefer green leaf or romaine, as they are heartier lettuces)-to your liking
lemon (real and fresh, not from a bottle)- half a lemon squeezed
cumin-to your liking, I like a lot
fresh cilantro-loads of it! I love cilantro!
salt and pepper-about 2 hints
garlic (fresh- not dry)-to your liking
chili powder-to your liking
cinnamon-just a hint
graded cheese (this is my non-healthy cheat, just a little though!)

Chop and combine! Mix the avocado all around as a sort of delicious glue. Everything must be fresh, except for the cumin, chili powder, beans ( they're canned...), salt and pepper, and cinnamon.

DO NOT COOK ANYTHING BUT THE TORTILLAS and cheese. I cook one side of the tortilla, toss on a little cheese, and add everything else cold. Every time your process food (aka heat or cool it) it loses nutrients), so eat as much of it fresh and raw as possible. Also, feel free to add any veggies or peppers to your liking! Make your own. Personally though, I'd avoid meat (this isn't a meat dish, it's all about the flavors of everything else and meat tends to boss the other flavors around), corn (our bodies don't digest corn that well- but if you are going to have it, get it fresh on the cob and just cut it off raw, it tastes divine!!!), sour cream, too much cheese, or anything else that would distract from the amazing flavors already in the dish. That last line was a bit redundant...oh well.
P.s. Cucumbers aren't especially in season :( ....but I just loooooove them!!!

This isn't my dish, but I ate my dish before I could take a picture...haha. This looks similar, minus the avocado, and plus some corn

A few quick notes

2010-12-17T17:24:00.001-07:00

1. The garbanzo beans are way better than the white kidney beans as butter replacment. I also started using whole wheat flour. They're much heartier cookies- but they're very popular! My next experiment- garbanzo beans to replace the butter in my raw granola!

2. Beware of texting or chatting when you are sick. I think it may be similar to drunk text/chatting

3. I'm going to Disneyland for Christmas! I'll be sure to blog when I get back!

4. A little pre-holiday treat (warning: it mentions hermaphrodites and shows a wrapped...package...):

Camping, outdoors and honeymoons.

2010-12-08T01:00:00.000-07:00

I was typing up my great grandmother's history when I discovered a possible reason why I love camping so much. My great grandparents spent the first three months of their marriage living in a tent (because great grandpa hadn't finished building the redwood log cabin- which my grandmother Patricia was born in). My grandmother Patricia wrote, "Mother set up an outdoor kitchen and began canning stuff from the garden on her wood stove. Dad went hunting and fishing and brought home salmon and venison, which she also canned." I find this funny, considering that I've always wanted to honeymoon in a tent or cabin.

The outdoors make you feel alive! Like you could do anything...

I love Red Cliffs- it's always fun!

And so, this discovery of my great grandparents living in a tent got me thinking about how much I love camping. I just love camping. I love hiking. I love walks. I love cabins and lakes and beaches. I love the feeling of soil and dirt, or in the case of the salt flats- salt.

I am terribly fond of laying on the ground, and listening to the Earth.

Camping is super- especially when you get to cuddle to stay warm!

A few months ago one of uncles asked me why I thought I loved the outdoors so much. I responded that I did not know why. But I think now I can safely say, aside from just loving it all on my own, it's a part of my genetics, and it's a family tradition.

Camping with the family- the ultimate in fun!

Hiking in water with booty shorts does not turn out well for those of us with giant thighs...but that's another (awkward) story.
The outdoors are amazing- they are what inspired me to kick my getting healthy into gear! I want to not only keep up on the hikes, I want to lead the way!

Caving is fun- my favorite part is the bats, my least favorite part is the chance of death

As much as I love the desert red, I love being swallowed up in green!

Although I am afraid of it, I love water

I love typing up my grandmother's histories. I love reading all of the funny little stories. I love discovering that who I am didn't just poof into weirdness. My mother's a kook, my grandma's a kook, my great grandma was a kook, her mother was a kook, and her mother- and her mother joined the crazy Mormon's, or in other words- she was kook. I love the outdoors. I can do anything! I am a strong, kick yo' face in woman. I am an artist. I am Laura, and I didn't just appear into thin air.


I made this for grandma Patsy for Christmas 2009. We love to joke about grandma marrying other men...I wonder how grandpa Chuck feels about it.

This hike was hard for me, but it was amazing!


Dad and Jeremy with some mondo fish

Though dad didn't always go on our mega camping trips to Richardson's Grove, he loved the outdoors- and apparently he loved fishing. I've never been fishing, but I'd love to go. I don't know if I could kill the fish- at the moment I feel that I could. Hear that boys- date idea!

Dad and Josh in the great outdoors

Haha, I guess you can see where I get my exhibitionist tendencies...but that's another blog (I will say this, said blog would include a great-grandma in a nudist colony, and a whole lot of shenanigans). That's my dad on the far left, the bootiest one of the bunch.

Old ladies.

2010-12-03T21:05:00.002-07:00

To start I should preface this blog with the line of thought that led me to old ladies.

Love the glasses and everything!

Naturally it started with me thinking of a handsome man. I was thinking of how I usually change something about myself, even just a little, when I like a guy. Like if he likes waterpolo, suddenly I like water polo a whole lot more than before. That's not to say I would start liking something awful like Nickelback or dolphins (I wouldn't be attracted to a fellow who likes those things anyway), but my liking for similar interests does increase.

Then I was thinking about one of the last guys I was interested in, and how my love for baseball increased greatly. But as I mentioned previously, my increased interests in the hobbies of the men I am attracted to do not suddenly develop- they just...develop further than they might otherwise.

(I'm sure some of my readers will find this behavior appalling or degrading, but then say, "Pssshh, don't even try to pretend you don't, or haven't, done this!" And furthermore, the good news/Epiphany- I realized I hadn't done this with the new attractive man. I like him and I feel no need to change or adapt. Gotta love a good pipe dream crush you don't have to change for.)

From there I started thinking about baseball.

This woman is SO glamorous!

My first real job was at a small baseball park doing concessions. Sometimes when it was slow we could go out at watch some of the game. Then there are all of those amazing baseball movie that make everyone love baseball, like Sandlot, Field of Dreams, A League of Their Own, and Angels in the Outfield.

Then I thought, what really planted a liking for baseball in me was watching it so much as a kid. But I wasn't watching it at home, or school, or anywhere you might think. I was watching it with Dorthy Martin- the widow down the street.

I loved hanging out with Dorthy. It started with routine cookie raids with some kids in the neighborhood, but soon in became regular visits, and even a sleepover one time (my friend and I slept in the guest room- and my friend peed the bed, I felt real bad for Mrs. Martin).

When I visited with Mrs. Martin we would watch a lot fo baseball. She said she didn't love baseball that much, but she and her husband used to always watch it, so it became a welcome routine. I would also help her around the house, and I'd play with her cats. Gee whiz, why'd do ya think I love old ladies and cats so much?

One time I was having lunch at her house and she prayed for the soup- she recited the Lord's prayer- definitely a new experience for little Mormon Laura. I liked it though, I was happy she was religious, and it gave me one of my first experiences that taught me how beautiful other religions are. And how though I believe the Mormon church is the only church with the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, pretty much every other religion has truth, beauty and a portion of the spirit.

RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE!

Dorthy also gave me Bon Bon Beaver, one of my favorite stuffed animals of all time, if not my favorite. I wish I still had Bon Bon, but I think he might be in that missing box that also had my treasured boy-band scrapbook and my hopes and dreams to be a ballerina/football player.

I don't condone smoking, but this lady is bad-a**

Wow, that was more than a preface, that was a blog. So that point- I've basically been an old lady for 18 years...and I'm 24. I love old ladies. They can dress how they please, and do as they please (except maybe some physical things, dang deteriorating health!). I guess that's the awesome thing about being old when you're young. You get to do what you want and act senile, without being limited to a deteriorating body. Unfortunately though, I think my mind may already be deteriorating.

Maybe that's why I had such a hard time making friends in middle and high school, non of my classmates were old enough...or cool enough. If only my classmates could have been 60-100 year old fashionistas. Then when I did something like fart, everyone would have just said, "Oh don't worry, she's old, " and they'd all get over it.

Old ladies are cool, because the turn the offensive into the cute. Except Betty White- she's just nasty and awful.

As a freshman in college several people called me Grandma, and do you know what? It NEVER offended me. In fact, I liked it. I wore old lady perfume from the Goodwill. I wore my grandmother's jewelry. I wore my hair up in pins. I wore ridiculous blue eye shadow and coral lipstick. I still do a lot of these things, minus the old perfume and quite as ridiculous eye shadow- and I love it.

OLD LADIES RULE. Therefore, I RULE.

You know I own an old lady wig! The sunglasses and bath robe are just my normal bathrobe and sunglasses.

How fancy are you? Fancy reader...fancy.

2010-12-01T22:44:00.002-07:00

I think people pass around this kind of thing, so they can boast about how well read they are. And so, I give you my list.

Have you read more than six of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.

This woman is SO me.

Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Bold those books you've read in their entirety. Italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read only an excerpt.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible (Working on it!)

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (I tried, but I kind of hate it. I'm still going to try again though- I want to love it and I don't give up easily)

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (I read part of this in H.S. and at the time I was too lazy to really read all of it, I intend to read it eventually)

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac (I'm going to agree with Truman Capote here, "That's not writing, it's typing."

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro (Sooooo boring)

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

This makes me SO excited to read more classics!

Delightful things!

2010-12-01T17:22:00.002-07:00

Well it has been a while, but one of my loves is still a love: list making! Today's list, 10 things that are delightful.

Biblecats.com calender image

1. White kidney bean magic!!! I recently learned a beautiful replacement for butter in cookies! When making chocolate chip cookies, and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume this applies to most cookies- replace the butter with pureed white kidney beans!!! My next adventure will involve garbanzo beans! Now I know you're probably saying, NASTY!!! But they're SO yummy!!! I will say this, you can taste the beans in the dough, but once they're baked- the beans are gone! And everyone who had some liked them! Here's my favorite recipe (Mrs. Field recipe):

1 c. butter -1 cup pureed white beans (I used a food processor)
1 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 c. flour
2 1/2 c. oatmeal, ground in blender (this ingredient is a must, and a food processor works great, or you can buy oat flour)
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. soda
12 oz. chocolate chips (go for the milk chocolate Ghirardelli chips!)

Cream butter and sugars together. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix in flour, oatmeal, baking powder and soda. Stir in chips and Hershey bar. Bake 7-10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Yum yum yum- I'm inspired to find other healthier replacements!

2. Students. My students say the funniest things! Whether they're asking me, "Are you married? How old are you? Why are you single?" Or, "Did you make your hair today? Did you know Carson is a girl? He plays with dolls and sings like a girl! (Response from Carson:) I am! I half boy, and half girl," my students are always entertaining me!

I love this video! These are not my students, but I experience this caliber of pure kid genius daily!

3. My Christmas tree! Shelly helped my decorate it, and yes- those are all my ornaments!

Tree. Homemade paper stocking for Brangelina and the kids, my roommates, Shelly, and...me. Shelly's masterfully crafted mistletoe above the front door.

4. RACQUETBALL!!!!

5. CAR DANCING/KARAOKE

6. DANCING!!!

7. GOOD man hair. You know- the kind you wouldn't get your fingers stuck in, but the kind that you'd certainly want to run said fingers through. I'm talking kitten soft forearm and chest cuddle clouds. I'm talking the kind of beard that massages your face like butterfly kisses from a gay Pegasus who bathes in vats of sunshine lotion. "Si, azul...EXACTAMENTE!"

8. This next delightful item is something I've most definitely blogged or mentioned before: Great Lake Swimmers. I LOVE THEM. P.S. Perfect Christmas gift- I've only got Bodies and Minds, I want their other CDs. When I was making breakfast this morning I had my itunes on shuffle and this song came on. I thought to myself, "This music is heaven...it's like drinking in some warm heaven, and if it were summer it would be like drinking in cool heaven." Unfortunately the leads singer seems to have shaved his beautiful beard off for this video. Also, I don't love this video, especially compared to their other videos- but the song still rocks.

9. Feeling in control of my body. So, as I previously blogged about, I went on a sugar fast. Yes I ate fruit, fruit is SUPER vital. Anyway, I didn't have sweets or deserts etc. for three weeks before thanksgiving, with the exception of the Harry Potter party because my friend Anne made delicious home made treats. However, though delicious they may have been, it made me feel awful eating all of that sugar! When Thanksgiving rolled around I for sure had some Egg Nog (I love it!), and some pie- but in contrast to previous years, I had a few pieces (rather than 15 pieces of something terrible like that). Now that the Holiday has passed and I have about three weeks until Christmas break I feel rededicated to eat less, if any, sugar. If something looks terribly wonderful, I will eat it. But if someone says, "Want a Zinger?" I can confidently say, "No thank you," because guess what? I don't like Zingers, and I'm only eating sugar if it's really worth it!

10. My dad's nub. I know it's gone forever, but we love it! The nub is where it's at.

When my dad was born his mother had the German Measles. He had a heart defect since birth and Forrest Gump style leg braces. He was born with his fingers on his right hand fused together, and after many painful surgeries, he ended up with the nub. I'm happy that thanks to the resurrection he wont be stuck with the nub forever, and that his spirit is whole- but that doesn't mean I can't love the nub.

So there you have, 10 delightful things in my delightful life. Isn't it delightful...delightful like a viking riding on the wings of a tempest.

Old Newspaper Editorial

2010-11-08T23:53:00.001-07:00

So whilst looking for the Chris Garneau CD review, I happened upon this editorial I wrote for the Paladin (Southern Virginia University's newspaper/news magazine). Surprise, it's about dating. Ha! And the funny thing is, in the editorial I talk about girls needing to chill out, because flirting doesn't mean eternity or even a date...so here's the funny part. I had a crush on a fellow Paladin staff member who I loved to flirt with (NO I'm not talking about the great bobblehead here)and I was always mad he wouldn't ask me out! I'd say, "Why does he flirt with me! He shouldn't flirt with me and not ask me out!" But in this editorial I say, flirting doesn't mean dating...do you catch my drift here? Oh well, hypocrisy is kinda my thing sometimes. Enjoy my poorly written rambling, most likely written to impress men, but as usual- impressed no one.

"It starts with an apostle. He says, “Go on dates! Ask girls out! Lots and lots of dates.” So the men “Follow the Prophet” and go on dates.

Then the women gossip, “Bobby is such a player! He’s gone on 3 dates in the last month!” Then men find out girls are labeling him as a player. The men don’t want to be labeled as players; so, like men, they go cold turkey and stop asking girls out all together. Lay off ladies; when you discourage guys from dating they stop asking us out.

According to the Mormon vernacular a player is defined as: play·er \ˈplā-ər\ –noun 1. A person who kisses (this includes any kind of kiss, make-out or otherwise) several different people in a short amount of time. 2. Someone who says I love you to different partners frequently.

Being a player is not okay. It may seem like a sweet rollercoaster of titillation for the player, but the poor sap that got played it’s like having to listen to Ashlee Simpson for eternity; no good.

At SVU the typical dating pattern seems to be: boy meets girl, boy develops friendship with (but never actually dates) girl, boy proposes to girl, boy and girl marry (usually within 3 months of engagement or initial meeting).

We’re skipping an important step here people, dating. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects.”

Shopping around and playing are not the same thing. A date should be a non-committal activity. Elder Oaks explains, “the more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer the dates… this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment. That expectation discourages dating even more.”

People need to chill out. Just because a guy asks you on a date it doesn’t mean he’s automatically your eternal companion. Players are bad because they just want to please themselves, they don’t care about the ones they play. Shopping around is just a way to get to know people.

The typical dating pattern at SVU should be: boy meets girl, boy asks girl out and develops friendship with girl, boy and girl date for at least more than one month, boy proposes to girl, boy and girl marry (after at least 4 months of engagement).

It’s a nasty spiral that poisons every aspect of the romance well. On one hand the women are making the men too afraid to breathe; on the other hand, the men are big cowards who need to use their testosterone and buck up.

“Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with… Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it.” Elder Oaks sums it up nicely.

Text me,

Sherona"

PS. My cartoon was called My Sherona, like the song, and that's why it's signed, "Sherona"

Chris Garneau

2010-11-08T23:22:00.001-07:00

SO CREEPY. SO AMAZING!

I'm glad Chirs Garneau has taken a liking to music videos- with his first album they were more of just performance videos...these are so creative. And his voice is still like Sprite bubbles!

Wahoo, all of this new Chris Garneau has inspired me to pull out the CD review I did for his cd, Music For Tourists, in 2006. Here ya go:
"Chris Garneau’s debut album, “Music for Tourists”: a mixture of mello-happy and the kind of sad it’s nice to be.

I’m thinking light pink jell-O and butterflies. With a voice that makes you feel like you’re swimming in sprite, Chris Garneau’s album is perfect for slowly sliping the hours away.

I’d even go as far as to suggest scheduling a “special time” on your Saturdays, under a tree with Garneau, or better yet save him for those unexpected morsels of time we students find here and there. This album makes you breath slower and deeper, resulting in an invaluable calm.

Now don’t get me wrong, even though he plays the piano (and has been since he was five years old) Garneau doesn’t go all “Coldplay” on you and repeat the same song 13 times, but you can indeed put “Music for Tourists” on and expect your blood pressure to drop a few points.

A self-proclaimed “avid lampshade collector”, and lover of steak and treats, Garneau will woe your heart in an instant. Whether that instant is when he angelically sings about Hamburger Helper or a more meaningful topic like sorrow, the instant will come. Most generically described as acoustic-indie-folk, “Music for Tourists” is composed of soft piano, supported by cello, bass, violin and more.

Some of Garneau’s favorite things to listen to include, Elliot Smith, The Velvet Underground, Nike Drake and The Sister Act soundtrack. Like his tastes in music Garneau keeps things interesting, it’s not just 30 minutes of, “I love you baby, I love you” playing over and over. No, Chris does not create the comatose, but rather he mollifies.

So next time you need a break, forget about your old Spice World soundtrack and pop in the new Chris Garneau album, “Music for Tourists”.

The album comes out January 23, 2007, but you can purchase it now from Absolutely Kosher. For more information on Chris check out: www.chrisgarneau.com or www.myspace.com/chrisgarneau."

Surfing the Asthmatic Kitty Website

2010-11-08T00:15:00.001-07:00

http://asthmatickitty.com/

Rafter Roberts- I don't love his solo music, but I can't deny his style. Look at his PERFECT hair cut! And the glasses and the background- love it. But really, I DON'T like his music. And his song "Paper" just goes off saying the F bomb over and over- I thought Asthmatic Kitty Records was started by Sufjan, the uber Christian...and I mean, who cares I guess, but it caught me off guard. Why can't this Rafter fellow have music as good as his hair?! I judged this book by it's cover- and it was a good book. But then I read the book and it was the beginning of Wurthering Heights mixed with the ending of Vanity Fair.

FAIL.

Now take this fellow Asthmatic Kitty, DM Stith. Not so fabulous as Rafter on the outside- but he's a little more Narnia (during the Aslan years) on the inside. I like his fuzzy shawl thing though...

Though my plans to convert Sufjan Stevens to the Mormon church, and then marry him were foiled at his concert last Monday- I'm keeping the dream alive. Haha, creepy much? Hayley can marry Josh Groban, and I will have Sufjan- now that would be an interesting musical mix!

Sugar fast

2010-11-05T00:30:00.002-06:00

I've recently decided to do a sugar fast. Sugar consumes my life! I have a serious addiction- and it's not exactly helping my mood, appetite, or waist line. So it gone with sugar...at least until Thanksgiving, I'm not giving up pie! So it's 3 weeks with no sugar, and then all of December to be a holiday treat glutton!

The thing to keep in mind is that sugar isn't the enemy- overuse and imbalance are the enemies. Normally sugar not too big of a deal for me because I don't eat a lot of processed food- but it's been tough this fall. Everywhere I go there is sugar- work, school, church- all of the places I go, people are shoving free pie and candy in my face. FREE PIE!

Sugar here, sugar there- no big deal, right? Wrong, pretty soon sugar here and sugar there becomes sugar everywhere! So the point is, I'm taking a break, no sugar until my mom's homemade Thanksgiving pies!
So, I've not had sugar for 4 days now...and guess what, I have less insane food cravings, vegetables and fruit taste better, I'm drinking more water, and I've shed 5 pounds! Intense. I guess sugar is good, but it doesn't taste as good as I feel. Now...I'm not saying, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," because I hate that saying! Skinny doesn't make you happy, healthy makes you happy- and those are two different things. I don't want a body made of thin, or air, or thin air...I want a body made of fruit, veggies, whole grains, water, and hummus!

Speaking of fasts...I've been thinking. There is something else I need to fast from, call it an early lent X2 this year- I'm fasting from judging others (or at least I'm going to try, it's a lot easier to fast from physical vices, rather than mental, spiritual, or emotional vices).

Lately I keep telling myself that it's easy to pick people apart when I don't know them. I'd say to myself, "It's one thing to gossip about people you know; it doesn't matter if I judge people I don't know." But the truth is, it's been eating me from the inside out. It's no longer a sin of omission, but rather commission, when you do something and feel the pricks of the spirit telling you it's wrong- but you keep doing it anyway. There's no way around it, it's wrong. So, I'm cutting it out of my life the best I can.
Each time I think something negative about someone, especially based on appearance, I should think of the good things I can see, and the good things I can imagine. They aren't fictional characters that i can analyze and pick apart, people are people- and I should love them. Considering how often my initial perceptions of people are wrong- you'd think I'd learn not to judge people on appearance...but this is life, and I wont be perfect when I wake up in the morning. I just have to be grateful I wake up at all, and love people.
Spurring my desire to purge myself of unrighteous judgments, was President Thomas S. Monson's talk from the last General Relief Society Meeting:

http://new.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/charity-never-faileth?lang=eng

Everything is about balance, but sometimes- we just have to rid what we've made vice temporarily, and sometimes we must rid it completely. Wish me luck, or better yet, love me, and love everyone.