Valentine Dysphoria.

Okay, I'm not really depressed or anything but Valentines can really wear on a girl! Every year that heart-winged steed pulling the chariot of love ushers in a day so dismal you can hear asexual microorganisms in the Southern Ocean keening. YouTube's wires buzz with the overloading demands for Morrissey music videos!

I will be at home, gaining 17 pounds in chocolate and preservative wax on my thighs. A box of kittens poured over my head couldn't distract my mind from the ever present reality of my singleness on this day. Wal-Mart, the devil and Ann Coulter only teamed up to create a few things on this earth and here they are:

1. Wurthering Heights (The devil entered Emily Bronte's body at the age of 13, a few years later she wrote this book.)

2. Valentines Day

3. Olivia from The City

4. Rye bread

5. Bono

Okay then, the truth of the matter is I was just saying that all for funsies...mostly...
I actually like to use Valentines Day as a celebration of friendship.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." -John 4:7


ADOPT ME BRANGELINA! Love, Laura