Lately I have felt some old and good feelings. Feelings that remind me that I am Laura.
I love art. (Warning, this video says the F bomb twice).
I love good music, it's one of my greatest passions.
I love fun outfits.
I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am loveable and pale and I have amazing legs and I can rock a dress and my hair is frizzy and I am not skinny and I am loveable.
I love sitting around, enjoying mother Earth and father sky, in my car, in my room, on the streets, all around.
I love reading.
I am so blessed. I love my job, even if it gets tiring and frustrating sometimes. Love and dating is really confusing, but I suppose it should be considering eternal marriage is the ultimate ultimate. The things most worth while should challenge us the most, right? I have great friends. I love my life. I know of all of the times places in the world, I'm where God wants me to be, right now and right here.
1. I don't respond well to people who come on strong before they know me.
I don't care if we're new girl-friends, or you're a guy who's interested in me. If you come on strong I will pull away. We just met and you're texting me the next day...5...10 times. Obviously you're stalking me and my gut reaction is to run like hell. Shudder.
A few months ago a casual friend of mine obviously wanted to be best friends, and she wanted it now. She texted constantly. She invited me over all of the time. So I stopped answering her calls and texts. I can't handle it. It took me a year to say I love Jernae and I lived with her! It took me 2-3 years to say I love you to some of my best friends, KKKJ, but I was younger and much more afraid of that kind of affection back then. I don't develop best friends over night.
Don't even get me started with men. Yes, ask me out. Yes, flirt with me. Yes, text and call me. No, don't do any of those things all the time. No, don't comment on my facebook photos from two years ago when we don't ever talk in real life. No, don't shower me with affection or gifts when you haven't even asked me out.
This is from Just Like Heaven, such a cute movie! This is the skanky neighbor. Sometimes when you come on too strong it just makes you extremely undesirable
I guess that's the worst part. Guys who like me, but don't have the balls to ask me out. I bet if half of the guys I say I am not interested in just grew a set and asked me out, I'd say yes and reconsider. But being a chicken + a creeper = no good.
2. I am allergic to bell peppers...well let's just say they make me so miserable and sick that I tell people I'm allergic. It's awful. But, I discovered recently that I like certain hot sauces...just not Tabasco sauce...bleh.
3. Uncleanliness makes me anxious. I really figured this out this year and it explains a lot about my youth and my moods. I don't think I'm a neat freak. I can handle dishes in the sink...but when there is mess or filth in my living space it makes me nervous, anxious, and even depressed. Cleanliness helps me organize my mind, mood, and life in general.
4.Today I wore a pair of pants that I bought in the 8th grade. At the time they fit me like a sausage with a mega muffin top. Today I decided that I have to get rid of the pants because they're too big. VICTORY!
And now for that preview...
JUST KIDDING!
In 10 pounds I will have reached a huge weight loss mile stone. When I reach that weight I will tell my readers how much I weigh. I will talk about my weight loss journey thus far, and I will tell you about my plans to lose the rest of the weight. I will probably also have some sort of photo weight loss time line. The sooner I lose those 10 pounds the sooner I blog, wahoo!
It's tough to have a crush, we all know that, but guess what? It's also tough to be crushed on.
Let me explain. I think I have mentioned this before, some guys have crushes on me. It's weird. Me. Crushes, as in like liking, me! Other than it being foreign and weird, it makes me feel bad...I mean, how fun is it to know someone wants to date you, but you don't want to date them. It's not fun, that's the point. It makes me feel terrible! So there's the feeling guilty that someone wants you and you don't want them, which is dumb because I've complained about not having someone so much. And then you just feel bad because you feel like a jerk for not reciprocating those feelings.
Okay, so I feel bad, but what might be worse than feeling bad is feeling awkward. I'm Laura, Queen of Awkward, but I don't want to rule this country of awkwardness...it's the bad kind of awkward. When you know someone likes you and you don't like them you feel bad and you feel uncomfortable. Every second you're with them you wonder, "What are they thinking about me?! Are they imagining us getting married or some creepy crap!?...Is he leering?! I think he's leering! Is he thinking about kissing me?! Stop it you mind perv!" (Like I don't think about making out with plenty of men!) Shudder.
Now, you may ask, "Why would feeling awkward be worse than feeling bad?" This is why. When they're your friend. It's the pits. You have this creeper thinking romantic thoughts about you, and this creeper was your friend! This person you used to be able to talk to. This person you used to feel good around and have fun with, now suddenly is this person you don't want to say anything around. Now you don't even want to be around them because you feel bad.
It's the pits. It's tough to have a crush. It's tough to be crushed on. It's tough when you have a crush on someone and you know they know and now you're the creeper and you feel bad because you have made them feel bad because they know you like them! Uggggh.
But one day I will crush on someone who crushes on me and it will be a fiesta of two creepers creeping on each other and IT WILL BE AWESOME.
