Just keep swimming...more like kick the crap out the water until it's a bloody pulp!

A Spanish proverb states, "Where there is love, there is pain." Or in lay man's terms, "Love stinks."

Perhaps the CREEPIEST digital creation ever.

Okay, well let's face it...I'm not in love, nowhere near it. I've never been, not really. I was in like, and that like was mushed real bad. And I want to point out that this post is not directed toward any one girl or guy in any way! It's not about the specifics, it's about the patterns and the situations. I'm not mad at someone, I'm mad at romance.  It seems to be a pattern. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend. Like a guy, he asks out your friend.

In this scenario, I'm not the lady.

 Or, my personal favorite, like a guy, he thinks of you as the coolest non-related sister/mom/friend ever. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends. Like a guy, you're just friends.

I got a little out of hand...class was REALLY boring.

Yeah, it gets old after a while. So it's happened again, but guess what, I'm not going to sit around crying! It's time to kick it in gear and take matters into my own heart. I'm tired of waiting around with a Cinderella complex. I'm not waiting for a fairy godmother, I'm getting out there and I'm sewing my own dress! Who needs a dang pumpkin, I've got an old Buick! And those mice- poop on them, I'll make the prince do things for me!

Step 1: Love me more than ever. Love men too. I need to be myself to the max! I shouldn't have to change for a man in the beginning. I can see making changes or whatever in marriage, but in the early stages he should think magic stars spout from my eyes and rainbow-magic music pours from my lips. I should think he's the shiz, and I should most definitely think to myself, "I would have to explain his being ugly to people." It's time to revamp and remember to exercise for me, eat healthy for me, go to bed earlier, work harder, do things I actually love- as opposed to just doing things, and think happy thoughts! He should think my hair is flaxen star-shine and my body is a Venus, and so should I!

Venus, goddess of love!

So I should love myself, but I should also love men. I've loved men for as long as I can remember. Just because a lot of them seem to be d-bags and idiots, doesn't mean I should resent, dislike, or even hate them. Guess what? There are a lot of d-bag and idiot women, and sometimes I fit the description. Hating men won't solve any problems, and well, I just love men!

Step 2: Try new things. It's like Dr. Alexander says, (I'm paraphrasing here) "You've got to get out and try new things. Join a club. Sign up for a class. I don't know what, or where, or when. But I've got to try. Any suggestions? I think in the fall I will sign up for a hiking class. And maybe I can find some things in the community.

Step 3: Meet new people.
I have to mix it up. I love my friends, but as far as men go- I've got to branch out. If the men in my life were going to ask me out, then they should have done it by now. This goal goes hand-in-hand with goal 2, and this coming week me and my beloved cousin Hillary are going to make some game plans. In addition to finding things to join, I need to be brave and go to things I'm invited to. Sometimes I get a text to hang out with people, including men I don't normally hang out with, and I pass it by. No more! If I don't have a good reason I can't say no! Seize the day, it could be a flop, or it could be a Frank, or a Fred! My dream cat-loving manly man could be out there, waiting to sweep, and spoon, me away!

http://www.menandcats.com/              

Step 4: Canoodle with new men (who don't know my friends). 1 led to 2, and 2 to 3, so naturally 4 is highly connected to 3. Haha...The point is, while I'm meeting these new people I will be canoodling with new men ;) The gist of this blog is that I am the master of my fate...sort of...haha, that's a whole separate story. I can love me. I can try new things. I can meet new people. I can canoodle, in the non-slutty sense, with new men! When we are knocked down we should get back up again and find someone to make out with- it's simple logic. Easier said than done maybe, but here I go!

P.S. You know I'll be blogging about men and what I think I know in a few weeks, because the truth is...I know nothing :)

FOOD Re-vamp.

Once again, unhealthy foods are taking over! It's time for a summer detox.
Step one: BUY these books.
 (These actually are in a particular order, the Slim for Life one is better than the You Are What You Eat, but the Food Bible is a great companion for either)

I just LOVE LOVE Dr. Gillian McKeith. My affair all started with BBCA and her show, You Are What You Eat. Then I bought the book. Then I lost 45 pounds and felt great. Then I started working out a lot and stopped losing weight and I've been feeling icky. Answer, I'm not doing what Gillian would want me to do. On a side note, I don't want to sound like I'm in a creepy cult and Gillian is my leader, but she's hilarious and brilliant....and it fits the flow of this post. So yeah.

Today's menu.
Breakfast: Fruit smoothie. Quick Oats.
Lunch: Cantalope, watermelon, strawberries
20 mins later: Lettuce, spinach, kidney beans, clover sprouts (which I've always hated...but am surprised to find, am enjoying), tofu, fresh cilantro, dry spices
YUM! I hope I'm smart and I keep it up. I know I can do it. I've done it before!

I can't wait to make the mung bean casserole! I never thought I'd say that. Here are some of her other bean recipes that are free online: BEANS!!! (I love beans and tofu as a meat alternative!)
Step two: Get you some fresh food! Lucky for me I've found a super cheap and wonderful produce place!  
Carlos' Produce

Step three: Become super healthy! Whether you want to lose weight, gain weight, maintain, become healthier, etc. This is the plan for you. Uccck. This is a commercial isn't it? Hmm...okay. It's a commercial for healthy, natural, organic if possible, healthy, unprocessed, colorful, flavorful food! It's a commercial for exercise! Yay running and weight training! Yay hiking, biking, tennis, walks, laser tag and dancing!

Ironic part of the blog: I just made a batch of cupcakes...but they're not for me! I did however eat one mini cupcake, see Gillian's 90/10 rule (Slim for Life)! Seriously, I should get an endorsement cut or something.