Lessons from my Grandma Patsy

My Grandma Patricia, or "Patsy BAMF" as I like to call her (just now, I just started calling her that now), was a magic lady. Seriously, she was one of my favorite people on this planet. 

We were both Tiger Geminis, and she was a friend and an example to me.

She taught me to be a bad-A. One time at Girls Camp some priesthood leader killed a rattlesnake, so what does Grandma Patsy BAMF do? She cooks the dang snake and feeds it to the girls. Badoosh! Be a bad-A.

Sweatsuits Grandma painted for me and Hillary

She taught me to always create. My grandma was an artist for most of her life. She painted sweaters, canvases, and anything else you'd give her. She took art classes when she got older, and right up until she passed away she was painting. Her hands coiled up from arthritis, but that didn't stop her from creating. Even when we played cards she was scribbling in the margins. I can only hope to create as much as she did. She created a ginormous family, a wonderful legacy, and oodles of art.

She taught me to have fun. My grandma was such a joker. She was always kidding around, laughing and saying the funniest things. Whether she was dressing up, flashing us, or just playing cards- grandma knew how to have fun.

She taught me to love music. Grandma loved music and singing, and even when her pitch went, you could still hear her whistling a tune all the time. 

She taught me to love nature. My grandma loved the outdoors, whether it was on her parents old farm, at the beach, or with her cow, Bessie, grandma loved nature. She might have had some intense right wing beliefs, but that lady was a hippy if I ever knew one. One with nature, magnets, pumpkin seeds and curious natural remedies. She even let her juice sit out and ferment a bit, haha!

She taught me to be faithful. Now I know that they may confuse some of you, seeing as my beliefs have changed a bit this year, but faith isn't necessarily about what you believe- it's about passion and believing in something. She taught me to hear and see spirituality. She taught me to find happiness and believe in good things. She might have believed in different things then I do right now, but she taught me to live what I believe and be true to that. 

She taught me to be yourself and say 'forget the rest.' Everyone wont always like what you say and do in this life, but that's okay. You've got to be yourself and follow your heart. My grandma stood up for what she believed, even when no one around her supported or believed her. She did what she wanted and went out the way she wanted. She lived a full life and I'm sure wherever she is, she's kicking some major toosh.

I know I learned a lot of those things from my mother and father, and a lot of other amazing people in my life. I am a part of everyone I've ever met and everywhere I've ever gone, but dang it, Grandma Patsy BAMF was the seed and I'll miss her. 

Fun facts about Patricia:

- She had a blue ribbon cow as a teenager

-She birthed 10 children

-She eloped when she was 16 and stayed married to the same man until the day she died

-She served 3 LDS missions with her husband, Charles

-She was a kick-A square dancer

-She had indestructible fingernails

-She was born in a log cabin that her father built

-She, like my mother and me, was practically allergic to peppers. They make us super sick!

-She was a Tiger (Chinese Zodiac) Gemini, like me

Umm What Ya Say: Faith and Respect

Since my decision to stop attending the LDS church, several people have asked how I think my father or my pioneer ancestors would feel about my debaucherous new lifestyle. Well, here you go.

In general I can only hope, and assume, that they would still love me and respect me.

When my father decided to join the LDS church his parents were heartbroken. They gave him a small cardboard baby coffin, as if to say, you’re dead to us. They did not attend my parents wedding (they couldn’t), or my parents reception and other wedding festivities. Until my grandparents dying years, they fanned anti-church literature in my father’s face at every visit.

I’m pretty sure that my father just wanted was to live in a way that he thought was right. I think he just felt so strongly that the church was true and, while I’m sure a large part of him wanted his parents to join the church (first principles of the church), he probably just wanted them to love and support his decisions because he felt the church made him happy (and I would certainly say that the church and its accompanying life style did help my father to have a more fulfilling and happy life).

I would hope that in the same way that my father wanted to be loved unconditionally, supported in what he felt was right and in what he felt would make him happy and respected regardless of/for his beliefs, he would afford me just what he wanted so dearly from his loved ones.

I think of my wonderful Uncle Rick Smith- after he read my blog post about my father’s conversion to the LDS church he simply said that the choice my father made was the right choice for him. My uncle knew the church made my father happy, and even though my uncle doesn’t believe in the church, he supported him. I suppose that’s what I’m looking for.

I hold no bitterness towards the church or my loved ones who believe in it so fervently. I don’t seek to tear down the church, or dissuade members from believing. Honestly, I feel uncomfortable when people try to push the church on me (that twinkle in their eye when they think I’m finally returning to my senses), and I wouldn’t want to create that feeling in somebody else who is possibly questioning the church. I think people should pray with a “sincere heart” and all that jazz in regards to their moral code and beliefs, and then make their own choice- AND THEN I think people should love and respect their choice. It’s a personal choice, not up for vote or popular opinion- and so far as I know, even the LDS scriptures and leaders would agree with me here.

My pioneer ancestors crossed the plains in search of a place where they could live and believe as they pleased. The general populace thought they were a strange people and went to horrible lengths to make them renounce what they believed to be true. I can only hope that those pioneers, and most especially Joseph Smith, would respect someone who had different opinions on religion.

My great-great- great-great-great grandmother, Lucy Diantha Morley was fired from her job, pillaged, a driven from her home and comforts to the harsh land of Utah, where she built a BAD-A life believing as she wanted. HECK YES, I still love and respect her. Heck yes, I still feel connected to my faithful ancestors and relatives.  We’re all just trying to do what we feel is best, and live our lives in a way that correlates with our beliefs. Just like my father, I can only hope that Lucy D.M. would love a respect me, regardless of my attendance and belief in her church.

I know it’s hard. Things seem so black and white, and I suppose they are, but that doesn't mean we have to be at odds with one another. I think if we all just take a step back and look at the fundamentals, things could be pretty swell. You want freedom of religion, and so do I. You want to live and believe as you please, and so do I.

I know my father wasn't perfect, but I loved him and I can only assume he would still be proud of me. He would see that I haven’t made any of my decisions lightly. He would see how passionately I have sought answers, and he would love the person I am today. 

P.S. Did anyone catch my Imogen Heap reference?

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I couldn't articulate what I wanted to say, and so- Pinterest.