Life is crazy, but I think we all know I prefer humans to dolphins. FACT: I hate dolphins.

       I feel so congested with conflicting emotions that I don't know how to release them! It's like they are bloating in my chest and I'm about to pop! I'm stressed out about a lot of things, and yet I can see the many things I have to be grateful for.
       I have to go to small claims court because someone thinks they can solve their problems by taking money from me. The only problem is- they've got nothing and really they're going to hurt themselves having to pay court fees. I've had nightmares about this since I received the summons at the beginning of December! Nightmares about an old friend! Nightmares during Thanksgiving and Christmas! My father almost died and I was having nightmares about some midget-dramatic person! I'm trying to take four masters classes and get a job, and all I can think about is thursday Thursday THURSDAY! It's all so ridiculous and I wish I could shout to the world what injustice has been laid upon me...but I can't. I've prayed through this process since the beginning of November and I can't go to their level. I have to be strong and be the best I can be.
        I'm having the worst time getting back into a healthy academic schedule. Since my first week of classes was so thrown off I've not been doing so well with the studying...I've tried to study and all I end up doing is re-watching Excess Baggage, Roswell episodes, online TV; reading Island of the Blue Dolphins and now Shabanu- anything to escape my reality, even if I'm escaping to an abandoned island (actually that sounds fantastic) or a barren desert with enraged male camels attacking me. I stay up until two, wake up around 10...the only thing I succeeding at is eating healthy and making an amazing Dolly Parton cake.

       I have so much to be grateful for. I moved into a great new house. I love my roommates (one of which plays the mandolin and guitar and I love to hear her practice, and it also renews my desire to get a banjo!) and landlord. I’m actually not hating the snow and cold. I can walk to class. I like my classes and teachers. My new singles ward is lovely and full of lovely people. I have an art desk! I bought Star Wars Valentines. SEE! I have so much to be grateful for!!!
         Random thought trail: I mentioned that I’ve just read Island of the Blue Dolphins. It’s funny because I dream of that solitude. An island where no one can sue me. An island where the animals, storms, ocean, survival and beauty are my only companions. Here’s the funny part, I dream of that peaceful solitude without PEOPLE, and yet one of my biggest stresses is solitude. I’m alone most of the time. I miss my friends in S. Utah, Virginia, Delaware and everywhere else. I miss being packed into a room with three crazy girls. So which do I want? The island with no companions? Or the desert with nasty older men forcing me to wed and bed (Shabanu)? Haha.
         I feel like this has been too negative. The reality beyond my own self pitying is that I have a loving family. I’m in a great education program. I love the snow. I love my roommates, house, landlord, glow in the dark ceiling stars and life. I love my friends near and far. I will survive court and it will give me experience and knowledge. I will pass my classes and get into a good homework schedule. I will get a lovely job working with kids who are autistic, special education or general ED. I get to walk to class! I have a hiking class waiting for me in March. I have Star Wars valentines. One of my best friends lives only 1 ½ hours away! I’m getting a new niece in April. I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR!