Chemicals.

This post is mostly me freaking out and not finishing my thoughts, hello word vomit. This post is about some of my fears. This post is about love. This post is about chemicals.

I am a crazy mama jama. Heck-a-tolito, we all are. It just blows my mind how one day I can be convinced that I have to be with one guy, because I'm "in love" with him, and then the next day I'm all googly eyed for another. Sometimes I feel super mental/dotty/off the rocker, but then I remember, everyone is crazy. Thank you chemicals.

Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly in "Stage 2 : Attraction

This is the "crazy in love", the "falling in love" phase.

We think obsessively of our lover-- we may eat less, loose sleep, and look forward to the time when we will see them next. We may sneak out to meet them, daydream about the relationship, or feel we can't live without them. This part of love may seem crazy because it really is. The brain is responding to many different chemicals. 

Dopamine is released when we're crazy in love-- the same as if we are on cocaine or nicotine! Norepinephrine (aka, Adrenaline) speeds up our heartbeat and gets us excited. Seratonin levels are typically low in a new relationship-- the same patterns are found in the brain in love as in people with obsessive compulsive disorder!

This stage is also called "Falling in love", or a "crush", or "infatuation".

Crazy? Maybe. But it's nature's way of getting us to move on to the next level in love-- attachment."
I've referred to this dopamine thing before, remember "cocaine brain?" Shudder. It's wonderful and AWFUL.

Holy horrifying!

This is one of the many reasons I am so scared to get married! A. What if we "fall in love" and it was all dopamine!? B. Sure the spirit will guide you, but I'm sorry- the feelings of the spirit can feel an awful lot like the feelings of dopamine! C. What if I go CRAYZAY and rush into something, when I know- in my level state of mind- that I should wait?! Friends, if I try to rush into something...

 STOP ME.

"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Other things that scare me, but also fascinate the crap out of me:

Deep water
Spiders

Serial Killers

Heights

Big Foot/Sasquatch/Nessie

The Apocalypse

Snakes

Aliens

I'm not sorry for being me. I'm not sorry for being a terrible writer. I'm not sorry for being crazy, emotional, and a woman. I am sorry for being so repetitive with these posts.