Let me explain. I think I have mentioned this before, some guys have crushes on me. It's weird. Me. Crushes, as in like liking, me! Other than it being foreign and weird, it makes me feel bad...I mean, how fun is it to know someone wants to date you, but you don't want to date them. It's not fun, that's the point. It makes me feel terrible! So there's the feeling guilty that someone wants you and you don't want them, which is dumb because I've complained about not having someone so much. And then you just feel bad because you feel like a jerk for not reciprocating those feelings. Okay, so I feel bad, but what might be worse than feeling bad is feeling awkward. I'm Laura, Queen of Awkward, but I don't want to rule this country of awkwardness...it's the bad kind of awkward. When you know someone likes you and you don't like them you feel bad and you feel uncomfortable. Every second you're with them you wonder, "What are they thinking about me?! Are they imagining us getting married or some creepy crap!?...Is he leering?! I think he's leering! Is he thinking about kissing me?! Stop it you mind perv!" (Like I don't think about making out with plenty of men!) Shudder.
Now, you may ask, "Why would feeling awkward be worse than feeling bad?" This is why. When they're your friend. It's the pits. You have this creeper thinking romantic thoughts about you, and this creeper was your friend! This person you used to be able to talk to. This person you used to feel good around and have fun with, now suddenly is this person you don't want to say anything around. Now you don't even want to be around them because you feel bad.
But one day I will crush on someone who crushes on me and it will be a fiesta of two creepers creeping on each other and IT WILL BE AWESOME.
But one day I will crush on someone who crushes on me and it will be a fiesta of two creepers creeping on each other and IT WILL BE AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteI'm stealing this quote:)
Laura, I am glad you document this stuff. It takes me back to the days of singledom. You'll be glad later too. You will retread these when you are all boring & married & think, "man, I had some crazy times." but I also can't wait to read about your married life, cause I am sure you will make it interesting... Even if you are just as boring as everyone else.
ReplyDeleteJernae, you already stole my heart, eel free to take my quote.
ReplyDeleteAmberly, thank you! I just like to share, most of the time I like to share too much. My poor future husband better not have privacy issues...he wouldn't be able to handle me,