The Constant Pull

There is a constant battle in my mind. Everything is all connected- we're the blanket. I was led to this moment. Most often it's hard for me to feel otherwise. I look at my life and all I can see are trails and whispers that led me to the person I am, the people I know, and the things I experience.

For some more insight on "the blanket" I mentioned earlier, you should watch some clips from one of my all time favorite movies, I Heart Huckabees.

Disclaimer: The first video says the f-word and has some random "subliminal message junk edited in, also stop watching it at 3:09 because it stops being Huckabees. All of that being said, it's a great clip.

 

 

 

 

It's at this point when I'm feeling the most warm and fuzzy, and connected to everything, when Albert Camus slaps me in the face with a hardcover copy of The Stranger and I feel like nothing is connected and life is just and simply what you make it.

 

 

 

I think it's nice to assume that something big and wonderful, the universe or God, is guiding us. It's comforting, but it can also take away from our personal responsibility. It wasn't my fault, it was Satan's. It wasn't my fault, I was led to the decision. I couldn't help it, it was fate. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault.

 

 

Sometimes stuff just happens and it's not our fault, but how much more often should we take more responsibility for our actions? Maybe it is all connected and maybe it's not, but either way we're the glue or absence. We are what makes our lives. Our choices every day are what make things happier or more difficult. We will never have control over some things

 like natural disasters or the actions of others, but we will always have the ultimate control of ourselves.

 

 

As I was thinking about the constant pull within me between thinking life meaning everything and life kind of meaning nothing, this song came on and it reminded me that there really is one thing in this existence that is connecting us all. One thing that means everything- love.

 

 

(If you haven't listened to the latest Daft Punk at least 20 times you're doing life wrong. Also, you might struggle with the intro to this song- skip to 1:50 if that is you. Seriously, this song kicks trash.)

 

 

There are a lot of things I will never understand, but I know love matters. I don't know how much it matters, I don't think I can comprehend that, but I know it matters. I know it drives and moves things. I know it reminds me of how much I can make a difference in the world. It also reminds me of how powerless I am.