Laura's High School Sociology Goals Part 1: Marriage

           I found the most glorious document of all time. I wrote life goals in high school, and boy are some of them grand. I kept the grammar as is- so please excuse (or laugh at, because I did) the run-on sentences and other snafus. For funsies I've also decided to add some commentary, because I just gotta. The commentary will be in blue. Enjoy!

            When I am between the ages of 19 and 25 I want to get married. I want to marry my “dream man.” So I will describe him to you. Well, I guess I better hurry up- I turn 26 in 61 days!

2nd from the right, Alex- my dream "man" in highschool. HAHA!

            First I will talk about his physical qualities. He will have dark hair, preferably natural brown. His eyes will be either green or blue. He will be at least 5’11’ two inches taller than me), the taller the better, but not abnormally tall. HA! He will have a nice build, not skinny, but not 5 foot neck huge, he will be large and buff, not fat though. As far as facial hair goes, he won’t have any, but he will have a 5 o’clock shadow.RETRACTION!!! You know I love good facial hair, a 5 o'clock shadow is a good start though. His hair style will be curly or shaggy, ruffed up and short. He will wear t-shirts that fit, not too big and not too small. He’ll love to shop at Deseret Industries and always wear what he wants. His shoes will be “old school” and he will never have a plumbers crack. I'm glad I felt it necessary to say he wont have a plumbers crack. He won’t wear any femmi stuff like clam diggers or makeup. And finally he won’t have piercing, tattoos or deliberate body mutilations. Deliberate.

More dream men, Noogie- a terrible Australian band, but I was obsessed with Australia and I thought I was SO unique for liking such a foreign band (they were on a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie soundtrack btw)

            Now as for morals, he won’t drink alcohol, caffeinated drinks (HA!), coffee or tea. He won’t watch R-rated movies (HA!), swear, chew tobacco, smoke, have pre-marital sex, participate in or watch porn (participate in?!?!), be a democrat (HA!), or a hunter. And most important of all he will be worthy to marry me in a LDS temple.

            He will love punk and ska music, some pop, 80’s and older music, emo, covers and a variety of every other kinds of music except music that swears. Well this is hilarious. He will also like cake, sleep, church, the D.I., mud wrestling (I still want this), outdoors, movies, and having a good time.

            I could care less about what car he drives, unless it’s an ugly low-rider, and as far as money, I don’t care as long as he can bring home the bacon, and some extra cash to spend. And I would also like him to have flexible hours with vacation and quality me with myself and my kids. 

            I love smart guys, but not if they make me feel stupid, he also has to know a lot about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He’ll be stable and mature, and be a good communicator and listener. He will be able to share his feelings but he won’t be a basket case.

Another high school crush- Nick Hexum of 311

            And now here are some loose ends that my husband will be like. He will love food, won’t tickle me hard, he won’t be a pervert, and he will have a good sense of humor. GOOD PRIORITIES. And last but not least, I want a man, but not a male chauvinist pig.

            Why do I want a husband? Because he will be my better half and in my religion you can’t make it unless you get married and I want to be in love for years and years.

            Now finally, how would I benefit, emotionally, physically, and mentally by achieving this goal?

            I will emotionally feel better about myself and have true love. Like the saying goes, “My better half.” He will love me and so I can be emotionally connected with him. Like the saying goes, “My better half.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

            As for my physical benefits, he will have money and I will move out of my house and we will go hiking and travel. I would not only have a new environment but I would be in better shape because of all of the activity we would do. I really thought this paragraph was going to go in a different, and much more risqué direction...

            Mentally I would have to work as a team with my husband and he would share his experiences with me and I would learn and grow because of it.

            In order to get married I will have to date a variety of men in order to find out what type I want. I will have to search long and hard and be in steady relationships. Then when I have gone steady with one man I will get engaged, say yes and then I will have a wedding in a LDS temple and a reception at the St. George Opera house.

            I already set a timeline, 19- 25 years old. Some roadblocks that might happen could be, no proposal, too much college and death. If I never got proposed to then I would just have to set my time line back to 30 years old, if I got too engrossed in college then I could just wait until I graduate or be more social in my classes. If I die then I would be in heaven and I wouldn’t care. DEATH! "TOO MUCH COLLEGE AND DEATH." SOOOOOOOO GOOD.

I hope you enjoyed. Coming soonish:

College

Children

Become a Kindergarten Teacher

Have Benefits

Have Flexibility

Pick Up Liter (Best typo ever)

Donate Money to Charities

Help My Students in Trouble

My Dream Car (This is my second favorite essay!)

My House

Travel

I'm totally my Grandma.

The other day I realized I've grown into a woman shockingly similar to my grandmother. When this realization hit,
A. I was wearing a muumuu.

B. I was making a sort of Greek salad. I was putting all sorts of things in it. Kalamata olives, tomatoes, feta, croutons, sunflower seeds, almonds, cucumbers...okay this is just sounding like a normal Greek salad. I swear there was something  weird in it...flax seed? It just hit me, and I liked it.

My grandma Patsy is awesome. She's been an artist forever. She's still an artist. That grandma paints like a motha! Every time I visit she has more paintings to show me, it's super inspiring and I always want to take them all home.

We used to fight all the time, but then one day I stopped fighting with her. Since that day I have just and only loved loved my grandma. She's smart and loud and funny. Sometimes at dinner we play, throw stuff in Grandma's cleavage- it's hilarious.

All of my grandmothers are bad-A. Check out Great Grandma. Just look at that sweater! Bad motha licka!

 Check that Nana Laura. Bad-A fashionista!

Great great great great great Grandma Lucy Diantha Morley, SHE WILL CUT YOU.
Moral of the story, my family ladies are amazing. I am amazing, how can I not be with this legacy of mothas?

Silly thoughts.

Sometimes when I'm not asked out by guys I think stupid things. 

Like, men don't find me physically attractive.

It must be my hair. It's too poofy.

But then I listen to Heart and watch A Room With a View and feel much better about my glorious hair.

Then I think, it must be my weight. Men must be disgusted by my body rolls.

But then I go on a run, think about all of the beautiful rubenesque women in the world who date, and I feel beautiful.

Well something must be wrong with me, right? I know, I wear too much makeup. Men think I'm pale and I look like an undead zombie with all of that eyeshadow.

Wait, no...my ankles. My chin hair. My glasses. My unkempt nail polish. My clothes.
I'M A MONSTER!!!

I mean, obviously something is wrong with me.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.
In the immortal words of Christina Aguilera, "You are beautiful in every single way!"

In the words of the even more wiser Gordon B. Hinckley, "In very large measure each of us holds the key to the blessings of the Almighty upon us. If we wish the blessing, we must pay the price. A part of that price lies in being faithful. Faithful to what? Faithful to ourselves, to the very best that is within us. No woman can afford to demean herself, to belittle herself, to downgrade her abilities or her capacities. Let each be faithful to the great, divine attributes that are within her."

a. Chuck Bass knows all about inner beauty. b. Things that make me happy...Chuck Bass.

Things that make me happy.
1. I invented a yummy meal (pesto pita pizza).
2. Church was lovely.
3. I have wonderful friends.
4. I love my job.
5. Juice is delicious.
6. I ran a personal best timed mile on Saturday.
7. Cupcake Brigade!
8. Thanks to a wonderful man, I have my power steering back.
9. All of the amazing music (Sufjan Stevens, Stornoway, Gotye, Great Lake Swimmers, Mates of State, etc.)
10. Jewish cookies and nice people returning my purse that I accidentally left in S. SLC.

January/life wanderlust.

I've had a serious case of wanderlust. 

The holidays are filled with parties and excitment (not that mine had a lot of either of those this year). And then comes January. You set goals and get back into healthy routines. But something is missing. You want to release all of the new energy you're finding in the gym. You want to meet new people. Go to new places. Experience new things.

I want to go to the beach so bad it hurts in my stomach.

I want to accomplish something. I want to hike!

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut.

Don't get me wrong. I love my friends and my job. My life is good. But I have the fever, and I need to sweat it out somehow.

I need a concert, that feeling of being smashed in a hot and sweaty crowd, complete connectedness.

I want to meet new people.

This is Gotye, I'd like to meet him.

I am obsessed with this song. It makes me feel a good turn in my stomach. It reminds me of picking dafodils off the highway in Virginia. It makes me miss Virginia and my life there. It makes me want to feel that feeling of community here.

Also, Gotye is SUPER attractive.

So far I've invited new people to do things with me. I've gone to a Jewish synagogue (I loved it and plan to attend many other religious services). I have talked to new people I normally wouldn't talk to.

Branching out...heh heh.

Suggestions for places to go, people to meet, things to do?

2011 in review.

I know I already posted about 2011, but I thought this was cool. 2011 in review.


Moment Worth Recognizing: Getting my endowment (http://lds.org/church/temples/why-we-build-temples/what-happens-in-temples?lang=eng).
 
Moment I Wish Never Had Even Happened 'Cause All It Did Was Leave Me Bitter: Well let's just say it's a collection of moments that weren't my choice, but they all had to do with two people.
Most Exhausting & Exhilarating Event This Year: I'm going to say teaching. It's exhausting, but oh so worth it.
Goal(s) Set & Achieved: I wanted to run a 5-k. I ran two.
Goal(s) Set & Not Achieved: Get under a certain weight. I'm about 15 pounds away, but I know I'll get it this year.
Best Discovery: Jernae. She's amazing, quite possibly the best roommate I've ever had. A good friend and an amazing person.
Movie of the Year: Billy Elliot. Not new, but I loved loved it.
Awesome Trend That Rocked The World: Party Rock Anthem. So bad, so fun.
National Anthem of the Year: Summer Breeze, by Seals & Crofts. Again, not new, but I love it.
Most Loved Album: Great Lake Swimmers, Lost Channels. So good. It's hard to pick one.
Album On Most Rotation: Not an album, a mix. My "Kate" mix, aka a killer 90's mix.
Movie I Thought Would Totally Stink But Took Me By Surprise At How Much I Enjoyed It: Thor. I thought it looked dumb, but I kinda loved it.
Most Watched TV Show: I watched all of Psych, so I'll go with that.
Biggest TV Disappointment: Two Broke Girls, not good. I can't think of anything else.
Biggest Annoyance: Social Studies, I hate hate hated that class.
Proudest Moment: Surviving, and liking, my first semester of teaching!
Most Fun Time: Laser tagging. Some of my friends and I bought VIP, year-long, passes to Toad's Fun Zone- best decision ever. No money, no problem. We have our passes and we have fun!
 
Worst Time: Fall and Holiday season. Best of times (not that much, besides the teaching and some good friends) and worst of times.
What I Wished I'd Done Every Weekend This Year: Go on a hike. Bc it would have been good. Oh, or paint.
Thing Released This Year That Became An Instant Classic & A Daily Reminder In Life: My Droid Charge (I kinda copied Abbey with this answer).
Moments of Pure Joy: I had some good runs with loads of endorphins. I finished some tough hikes. I felt the high of accomplishment. Oh, seeing my students succeed at the math Olympia.

Mini makeout post.

You know, it's not just the sluts who want to make out. We all do. Okay, well I do. All the time.

But I guess the key is that we (the non-ncmo, chaste ladies) don't act on our desires.

In the paraphrased words of lots of wise people, it's good to not always get what you want. And sometimes it's good to not get what you want right when you want it.

That's all.

Three Christmas gifts I made this year

SPINNING Music box. Mirrored sides. Hot Mexican men and me with gold puff paint on top. Blooming LIGHT UP glass flower with classy mustached man bursting forth from it's nectar. Black puff paint trimming.

Jewelry box. Astronaut, Barbie's in a bubble bath, philosoraptor, moon. Gold and Black puff paint trim. Blue velvet-ish lining.

Outside: white stuff, classy gold trim and handle.

Octagon wood Jewelry box. Spock Dog (link). Gold and black puff paint detailing. Velvet-ish lining.