Laura's High School Sociology Goals Part 1: Marriage

           I found the most glorious document of all time. I wrote life goals in high school, and boy are some of them grand. I kept the grammar as is- so please excuse (or laugh at, because I did) the run-on sentences and other snafus. For funsies I've also decided to add some commentary, because I just gotta. The commentary will be in blue. Enjoy!

            When I am between the ages of 19 and 25 I want to get married. I want to marry my “dream man.” So I will describe him to you. Well, I guess I better hurry up- I turn 26 in 61 days!

2nd from the right, Alex- my dream "man" in highschool. HAHA!

            First I will talk about his physical qualities. He will have dark hair, preferably natural brown. His eyes will be either green or blue. He will be at least 5’11’ two inches taller than me), the taller the better, but not abnormally tall. HA! He will have a nice build, not skinny, but not 5 foot neck huge, he will be large and buff, not fat though. As far as facial hair goes, he won’t have any, but he will have a 5 o’clock shadow.RETRACTION!!! You know I love good facial hair, a 5 o'clock shadow is a good start though. His hair style will be curly or shaggy, ruffed up and short. He will wear t-shirts that fit, not too big and not too small. He’ll love to shop at Deseret Industries and always wear what he wants. His shoes will be “old school” and he will never have a plumbers crack. I'm glad I felt it necessary to say he wont have a plumbers crack. He won’t wear any femmi stuff like clam diggers or makeup. And finally he won’t have piercing, tattoos or deliberate body mutilations. Deliberate.

More dream men, Noogie- a terrible Australian band, but I was obsessed with Australia and I thought I was SO unique for liking such a foreign band (they were on a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie soundtrack btw)

            Now as for morals, he won’t drink alcohol, caffeinated drinks (HA!), coffee or tea. He won’t watch R-rated movies (HA!), swear, chew tobacco, smoke, have pre-marital sex, participate in or watch porn (participate in?!?!), be a democrat (HA!), or a hunter. And most important of all he will be worthy to marry me in a LDS temple.

            He will love punk and ska music, some pop, 80’s and older music, emo, covers and a variety of every other kinds of music except music that swears. Well this is hilarious. He will also like cake, sleep, church, the D.I., mud wrestling (I still want this), outdoors, movies, and having a good time.

            I could care less about what car he drives, unless it’s an ugly low-rider, and as far as money, I don’t care as long as he can bring home the bacon, and some extra cash to spend. And I would also like him to have flexible hours with vacation and quality me with myself and my kids. 

            I love smart guys, but not if they make me feel stupid, he also has to know a lot about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He’ll be stable and mature, and be a good communicator and listener. He will be able to share his feelings but he won’t be a basket case.

Another high school crush- Nick Hexum of 311

            And now here are some loose ends that my husband will be like. He will love food, won’t tickle me hard, he won’t be a pervert, and he will have a good sense of humor. GOOD PRIORITIES. And last but not least, I want a man, but not a male chauvinist pig.

            Why do I want a husband? Because he will be my better half and in my religion you can’t make it unless you get married and I want to be in love for years and years.

            Now finally, how would I benefit, emotionally, physically, and mentally by achieving this goal?

            I will emotionally feel better about myself and have true love. Like the saying goes, “My better half.” He will love me and so I can be emotionally connected with him. Like the saying goes, “My better half.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

            As for my physical benefits, he will have money and I will move out of my house and we will go hiking and travel. I would not only have a new environment but I would be in better shape because of all of the activity we would do. I really thought this paragraph was going to go in a different, and much more risqué direction...

            Mentally I would have to work as a team with my husband and he would share his experiences with me and I would learn and grow because of it.

            In order to get married I will have to date a variety of men in order to find out what type I want. I will have to search long and hard and be in steady relationships. Then when I have gone steady with one man I will get engaged, say yes and then I will have a wedding in a LDS temple and a reception at the St. George Opera house.

            I already set a timeline, 19- 25 years old. Some roadblocks that might happen could be, no proposal, too much college and death. If I never got proposed to then I would just have to set my time line back to 30 years old, if I got too engrossed in college then I could just wait until I graduate or be more social in my classes. If I die then I would be in heaven and I wouldn’t care. DEATH! "TOO MUCH COLLEGE AND DEATH." SOOOOOOOO GOOD.

I hope you enjoyed. Coming soonish:

College

Children

Become a Kindergarten Teacher

Have Benefits

Have Flexibility

Pick Up Liter (Best typo ever)

Donate Money to Charities

Help My Students in Trouble

My Dream Car (This is my second favorite essay!)

My House

Travel