Old Newspaper Editorial

So whilst looking for the Chris Garneau CD review, I happened upon this editorial I wrote for the Paladin (Southern Virginia University's newspaper/news magazine). Surprise, it's about dating. Ha! And the funny thing is, in the editorial I talk about girls needing to chill out, because flirting doesn't mean eternity or even a date...so here's the funny part. I had a crush on a fellow Paladin staff member who I loved to flirt with (NO I'm not talking about the great bobblehead here)and I was always mad he wouldn't ask me out! I'd say, "Why does he flirt with me! He shouldn't flirt with me and not ask me out!" But in this editorial I say, flirting doesn't mean dating...do you catch my drift here? Oh well, hypocrisy is kinda my thing sometimes. Enjoy my poorly written rambling, most likely written to impress men, but as usual- impressed no one.

"It starts with an apostle. He says, “Go on dates! Ask girls out! Lots and lots of dates.” So the men “Follow the Prophet” and go on dates.

 Then the women gossip, “Bobby is such a player! He’s gone on 3 dates in the last month!” Then men find out girls are labeling him as a player. The men don’t want to be labeled as players; so, like men, they go cold turkey and stop asking girls out all together. Lay off ladies; when you discourage guys from dating they stop asking us out.

 According to the Mormon vernacular a player is defined as: play·er \ˈplā-ər\ –noun 1. A person who kisses (this includes any kind of kiss, make-out or otherwise) several different people in a short amount of time. 2. Someone who says I love you to different partners frequently.

Being a player is not okay. It may seem like a sweet rollercoaster of titillation for the player, but the poor sap that got played it’s like having to listen to Ashlee Simpson for eternity; no good. 

At SVU the typical dating pattern seems to be: boy meets girl, boy develops friendship with (but never actually dates) girl, boy proposes to girl, boy and girl marry (usually within 3 months of engagement or initial meeting). 

We’re skipping an important step here people, dating. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects.”

Shopping around and playing are not the same thing. A date should be a non-committal activity. Elder Oaks explains, “the more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer the dates… this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment. That expectation discourages dating even more.”

People need to chill out. Just because a guy asks you on a date it doesn’t mean he’s automatically your eternal companion. Players are bad because they just want to please themselves, they don’t care about the ones they play. Shopping around is just a way to get to know people.

The typical dating pattern at SVU should be: boy meets girl, boy asks girl out and develops friendship with girl, boy and girl date for at least more than one month, boy proposes to girl, boy and girl marry (after at least 4 months of engagement).

            It’s a nasty spiral that poisons every aspect of the romance well. On one hand the women are making the men too afraid to breathe; on the other hand, the men are big cowards who need to use their testosterone and buck up.

“Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with… Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it.” Elder Oaks sums it up nicely.          

Text me,

Sherona"

PS. My cartoon was called My Sherona, like the song, and that's why it's signed, "Sherona"