Laura's Process of Becoming Pt. 3

I know I’ve been promising to write this post for quite a while, but as with the other Process of Becoming Posts (Part 1, Part 2), I feel a lot of hesitancy about writing this. I don’t feel hesitant because I’m ashamed or because it’s a secret (yay redundancy!), but rather I don’t want to hurt anyone.

Last time I wrote about my spiritual journey I said I had left the church, I had no ill feeling towards the church and its members, and while I feel that’s the right path for me, I don’t necessarily think that means it is for everyone. Well things are pretty much the same.

Last time I talked about a fear of crashing and burning- it was kind of all an experiment for me. Well, I suppose it’s all (life) an experiment, but I feel like I've done some testing and found some positive results. As far as I can tell, I haven't crashed or burned. I feel no pressure to figure everything out right now, and that’s a beautiful kind of freedom. I don’t need to know where I came from or where I’m going today, or even tomorrow. I suppose someone could say that will all change when I have kids and they start asking questions, but I don’t have kids and if I did I would tell them just that. It’s okay to not know.

Before I had a lot of confusion and pain associated with my spiritual state, lately I feel a lot of that pressure has left. Oh goodness, I can’t help but hear the scriptural arguments against everything I say, haha. I guess Satan’s got me tricked, huh? He’s got me convinced that I have the time to let my salvation meander. Maybe some great and horrible power does have me tricked…but currently I don’t feel the need to murder anyone or try meth, so that’s something, right?

I work hard at a job I love and I help people everyday. I love to create art and make pre-teens laugh. I keep my room clean most of the time and I’m super upset about those girls in Nigeria who were kidnapped! I feel like I'm a pretty good person. 

As I've thought about writing this over the months I've realized more and more that I don't really owe a transcript of my beliefs to anyone. They're mine :) I'm totally happy to share what I believe and think if you ask me, but do I need to list what I do and do not believe in? Hellz no. 

I will say this, I've gone on a journey...well I'm still on it I suppose, and I feel great! I am happy with my choices and I am happy with where I am. I'm happy to be living this life and I know how sacred and miraculous it is!

I know who my true friends are. They can handle my existential crisis's, and they love me with the bonnet.

I guess this blog post might be a let down to those of you who wanted to read about my new heathen lifestyle, lo siento. Remember, it's your journey and it's your life. Do what makes you happy. 

But really, if you ask me, I'll tell you anything you want :)