The Second Annual: 14 days of Valentines!

Remember the great event?! It's on again! 14 Days of appreciating love, Laura, and life! Here's a link to last years celebration.

As Shelly said last year, "A 14 day celebration of all things lovely and a countdown to the holiday d'amour! Everyday we are to complete some romantically exciting task. If you are single or have always been indifferent or perhaps even bitterly loathed V- Day, that is ok. You can take this as an opportunity to fall madly in love with yourself."

So, in an effort to skip redundancy I'll just start in on this year. If you want to read up on the description, or last years events- read the old blogs. 

Day 1, 2011: For day one I was good to my body and spirit. I discovered a great liking for yoga at FHE and taught a lesson on gratitude and service. Here is a clip from said lesson:

"Julie B. Beck said in the March 2008 CES fireside:  “The…young adult years are usually times of great self-interest. There are so many decisions to make, and it is easy to be turned inward. The first thing I…would encourage you to do is forget yourself. You should probably be participating in fewer activities that are meant merely to entertain when you could and should be finding ways to make life a little easier for someone else. The quickest way to find friends, to find happiness, to feel grateful, and to have the companionship of the Spirit is to get on your knees and ask the Lord, “Who needs my help today?” and then begin helping.”

I know we’re all busy and we have work, school, homework, facebook, whatever- but we can always find time to serve. We don’t have to plan elaborate service projects to help other children of God. Service can be as simple as picking up trash on the street, smiling at someone, inviting people to play games at your house, heart attacking a friend, making someone a card, participating in church activities, or limitless other things. Service isn’t always about toil and time (though service that involves those things can be incredibly rewarding). Service is about love and friendship and sharing that with other people...

Sister Beck continued, “You could serve as individuals or prayerfully organize yourselves in your callings with your single-adult groups, ward and institute groups, and Relief Societies and priesthood quorums; together you would be able to make a difference for good in the world. Most service opportunities are found very close to home, within your families and wards. You are now old enough and mature enough to lead out in planning and organizing these types of activities. You also know how to receive answers to prayers to learn what the Lord would have you do. As you look outward, the Spirit will be with you to guide you in all the life-changing decisions you are making because the Spirit always accompanies righteous service. You will not have any trouble finding places to serve. While you serve with your peers, you will form good friendships and have meaningful social experiences."

After giving the lesson we made cards and listened to a mix cd of mostly classic rock. Overall, I'd say the evening was a success and I felt an appreciation for myself and my body.

Day 2: Tuesday was all about my well being. I went to a wellness coach and made 3 month goals with her. She also set me up with a personal trainer, and that evening I "got my sweat on" on the treadmill.

Love love love. Or more specifically, dating.

I've come to a realization lately. I need to stop complaining about the things I want. I mean, how is it logical to say, "I really want a degree...but I'm going to complain about school every step of the way?" Or, "I really want a boyfriend...men are such idiots! I can't stand them! They need to ask me out...bla bla bla."? No, it's not. A. STOP COMPLAINING (Remember audience, this blog is usually me talking about me...so I'm saying, I need to stop complaining.) And not only do I need to cut back on complaining in general, but I really need to stop complaining about things I want, or actually like!

I don't understand much about men, but I do know this- It takes two to tango, it goes both ways, and non of us are innocent. Men are idiots, but so are women. Women are scared and confused, but so are men.

B. I think I’ve discovered something about men. I mean, I don’t think I do, or ever will, understand them- but I think I’ve caught a glimpse. I’ve always thought that when a guy gives me attention, flirts with me, tells me personal things, and is comfortable- he likes me. I mean, that’s how I treat guys that I “like like.”

BRAIN BLAST! That’s also how I treat guys that I just like as friends…

I was going to say that when a guy treated me this way, I assumed it meant he liked me, but maybe the problem is that he’s too comfortable with me. Maybe I need a guy to feel nervous and a little bit uneasy around me…maybe it’s the ones who I don’t notice, because they’re too afraid to be at ease with me, who like like me…

Maybe this is how it is, they like like me- they hide; they like me- they’re my best friend. Maybe I do the same thing to men. But guess what- that’s crap!

"HAPPY SMILE. SAD FROWN."

If I like a guy I should be able to shower him with attention- I’m not talking stalker, over the top drowning here- I just mean an appropriate amount of affection. I want to date my best friend; I want to marry my best friend. I don’t want friends and a lover, I want a friend lover.

That’s my pattern though. I meet a guy. I like a guy. We become great friends. He thinks I’m amazing, “great people” (I SO relate with Queen Latifah’s character in Just Wright), he loves me, but doesn’t love me (it’s like my excess of fans, when all I really want is friends). The problem with guys friends who I want to be more than friends, is that it makes me feel like I’m in a hole, a rigid pattern, that I’ll never escape. He’ll tell me his thoughts and secrets, I’ll get close, and then one day he’ll tell me about the girl he like likes, the girl that’s not me.

So here’s the thing, this blog was initially going to be very different. It was, and now will be, about giving men a break. I think women love to blame men for all of the relationship problems in the world, and men love to blame women. But the reality is that it’s hard for everyone. Women are afraid of being shutdown and of not being asked out, dated, and loved. But men have to do the asking! And guess what, they’re definitely afraid of being shutdown, turned down, and not being loved. I used to say, “Men need to grow a pair and ask girls out!” Or, “It’s not like a lot of girls say, ‘No;’ guys just need to ask the right girls out, I wouldn’t say no.” But I’ve come to realize, girls say no to guys all of the time- and not just the creepers, girls turn down guys all the time (and most likely for the same bogus reasons guys aren’t asking more girls out).

Guys think girls want something unrealistic, perfect- Edward Cullen, and maybe some girls do- but most of us want real men. Real men who make mistakes, who aren't cold and "perfect" (but actually Edward is creepy on like 12 levels...). And women think the same thing- we think you want models with "perfect" bodies...but I have a feeling, that like us, men want real people too. Emotional, squooshy women.

I'LL TAKE AN IMPERFECT REALITY OVER A PERFECT FANTASY ANY DAY.

It worries me. When a man, or women, we fancy doesn’t return affection in the way we think they should- we immediately assume there’s something wrong with us. Just because a guy doesn’t ask me out, it doesn’t mean I’m ugly, fat, or terrible in some way. Just because a girl doesn’t bat her eyes at you, doesn’t mean you’re weak, or undesirable. Why can’t we (this definitely includes myself) just realize that he/she doesn’t know you like them, and he/she likes another he/she, but yet another he/she likes you! It’s all scrambled and confusing, but it will all work out as it should!

And girls- we do things that screw it all up too. Like constantly surrounding each other in a swarm of girls- how can any guy get in, if we don’t leave any open seats at the table for them?!

 

I guess we’ll never understand each other, we women and men. 

A dear, dear friend of mine, Emily, says of men, “Yjnhyhbbgfhgbhgtfhbgtg….what does that mean…it’s what I hear when men speak.”

My dear cousin Anne, said of the lovable brutes, “kdj;lfngj;lkgsda;lfkadj….or at least that is what men hear."

And another thing, when you ask your married friends, “How do you do it, how do you date?” They may answer, “Oh well you just have to do this…or that…” But the reality is, they were in the same position we single folk are in currently. They were worried about the same things. They were fretting over misunderstandings and whining about the lack of dates. And then one day, it changed. They met the right person, at the right time- and it worked out.

The point is- we’re all confused. Give the beasts a chance. Everything is usually misunderstanding.

This SO perfectly articulates what I feel.

So perfectly...I mean, i can't even describe how perfectly.

Day 14: SUPER AMAZING!

I am so happy I did this 14 days of Valentine's blog and celebration. It's really hard to blog about what I love about me- real hard. After day two I was like...uh, I have no idea what I love about me...so I'm glad that this forced me to look at myself and see the good. You know, something I'm discovering is that if you want to be attractive, you have to act attractive. Don't complain about your life, your face, your body, your anything! Life is beautiful and wonderful and all of those crap days make the small good things BIG good things. No one wants a Debbie Downer- I'm talking to you girl who would hopefully never read my blog ;) Bwahahaha! Besides the benefit of being attractive to others when you behave attractive, you become more attractive to yourself! And as awful as it may sound, hearing a certain girl complain about herself has made me realize how much I love me! Not because I take joy in her pain, but because it makes me think about the whole self esteem canoli. I love Laura, Lora, Lara, Lawra…whoever I am!

Laura tree I painted for Christmas :)

Today’s love activity was pretty easy- I went to church. I love church. I love my new ward. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ! People talk about love all the time, like it’s something so casual or base, and often it is, but I love real love. I love a love so great that it loves pill bugs and baboons and pebbles! I love a love that would suffer any conceivable pain to save us all from eternal pain! I love a love that allows us to experience pain and suffering (sometimes for years and months) so that we become stronger, more interesting, more attractive, more humble, more beautiful, more fit to be gods and goddesses! Woah, this is getting too intense and personal for a blog, TMI! But who cares! I want to shout it from the rooftops! I didn’t have a SUPER AWESOME Valentine’s because I sent out Star Wars Valentine’s or because I watched romantic movies- My Valentine’s has been super because God loves me. Dig it. “That’s all” (I always love to say, “that’s all,” like Miranda Priestly from the Devil Wears Prada in my head!)

I love toothpasteforedinner.com cartoons!

So what do I love about me, me. All of it. I love my frizzy hair and my big nose. I love my blue eyes and my wonderful toes. I love that I don’t ever bruise, but I scar like a mink is minky. I love that I laugh at awkward moments. I love that I create awkward moments all the time! I love that my roommate just got engaged and I’m about to cry for joy because I’m so happy for her- and I’ve only known her for about a month. I love that every time I walk by the swing in my front yard (no matter the temperature or weather) I want to hop on and watch the cars go by. I love that I have my nana and grandmother’s names. I love that I am me. Happy Valentine’s World!

CONGRATS ROOMIE!

Day 8: Dating do and don'ts

Monday's Valentine's celebration was easy because it was supplied for me! For our wards FHE our bishop and his wife talked about some of the do and don'ts of celestial dating and we even watched The Phone Call!

Click To Play

The bishop gave us a packet with ideas for easy and cheap dates, here are a few of my favorites:

Fly airplanes off a cliff, breakfast date (guys cook), fake running out of gas (the couple pushes), visit an old folks home, walk all the dogs in the neighborhood, decorate someone's car "just married," discover a mountain and plant a flag you made together, follow-the-clue hike, candlelight dinner in the back of a pick-up, get on a bus and take a tour of the city, go to an art gallery, go to a farm and do chores together, mud fights, little kid games (hide and go seek, mother may I etc), taffy pull, hiking, tubing, go fishing with a picnic, tennis, Lagoon, wash a car, bake something, badminton, shoot guns, Easter egg hunt, planetarium, dress in overalls and act like janitors, rent a cheap cartoon or movie, swinging in the park, horseback riding at night and more! This list is amazing! I want to do all of it! ASK ME OUT! haha...


Here are a few don'ts for guys:
Doesn't talk or carry on conversations, aggressively touchy, crude, burps, SPITS, swears, checks other girls out, cuts himself down, complains about price of date, too much aftershave/cologne etc.


Don’ts for girls:
Won’t help make any decisions- just says, “I don’t know,” doesn’t order dinner (pretends not to be hungry when she is), too much perfume, self deprecates, constantly going to the bathroom (they know you’re going in there to call or text friends etc), too much makeup, acts dumb, swearing, won’t tell you she doesn’t like you, expects fancy dates etc.


Rules for Celestial Dating:
No kissing/hugging/make-out sessions, no French kissing, don’t go into the opposite sexes room, no back rubs (back rubs lead to front rubs- I added that one), do not lie down on top of each other, dress modestly, avoid late hours etc.

Here's a fun date idea- make cardboard costumes and explore the town in them!

Additionally the packet has some info. about chastity, purity and date etiquette. It’s a great packet and I really enjoyed going to FHE!

So what I love about myself is that I give genuine compliments! Sometimes they are detailed and possibly people think I'm a freak, but if in my head I think, "That girl has a beautiful face," I'm going to tell her! Holding in a compliment is like holding in a smile, you're depriving the world of something that would benefit it! So feel good if I ever gave you a compliment like, "You have great bone structure," because I don't say compliments unless I really believe them!

Classic cars and classic guys.

       So I was driving through campus and this guy pulled in front on me. His car was AMAZing. It was some sort of classic with an awful paint job- HOT HOT HOT.

       And from the back he looked good too. I was like, “nice- a guy who isn’t driving a normal modern sedan or a beefy truck. A guy who gets that retro is hot.”

       But as we all know… things that are too good to be true hardly ever are true. He puffed a cloud of smoke out of his window and tapped his cigarette out the window.

        Okay I guess I should give a heads up about this blog- I’m talking about dreams here. Unrealistic ideals. Remember in Practical Magic when Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman’s child-characters make a spell for the perfect man- so perfect that it could never happen? It’s like that in a way.



      Considering that this is a public blog I will most certainly NOT be listing all of my impossible dream guy attributes…but here are two things I wish for.

       I wish for a man who is a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It’s not that I dislike people who are not of my faith, it’s just that to really be connected with someone I would want them to share something that is a part of everything I am. Late nights when I’m lying awake pondering the eternities, I want my husband to be a part of my pondering. I don’t want to mocked, criticized or made fun of for something that makes up my being. My faith is so important to me; shouldn’t it also be important to him? If I loved raising parakeets and that was my life, would I marry a man who completely hated parakeets? No.

          I wish for a man who looks classic. Like the guy in the classic car, I find a classic sense of style over all (including clothes, cars, and hair etc.) is EXTREMELY attractive. I wear dresses and skirts all the time, is it too much to ask for a guy who dresses like Frank Sinatra or James Dean every once in a while. I own plenty of casual clothing, and it’s often that I go through 90’s grunge phases, but I dress like an adult with personality most of the time. Personality, I guess that’s the key. My dream man wouldn’t wear a polo t shirt he got at Hollister with a pair of cargo khaki shorts every day. He would wear a slick and retro suit, a plaid shirt, a Jerry Lee Lewis t-shirt, or something he picked up from a thrift store. He might dress like Joseph-Gordon Levitt in 500 Days of Summer or Christina Bale in Newsies.

          

            
The dilemma: Notice something in common with James Dean, Frank Sinatra, Marlon Brando and Bob Dylan? They all smoke. They all drink. Not exactly Peter priesthoods. So here’s the point: WHERE ARE ALL OF THE RETRO, CLASSIC, GREASER, non-American Eagle polo shirt wearing, SINGLE LDS MEN? Are they on the east coast? Am I missing something? I can’t seem to find them. Any tips? Do I have to hang out at coffee shops? But I hate the smell of coffee and half of those guys are smoking and drinking! That is the dilemma. There appear to be no retro clad, LDS gents looking for my love. I feel like Jimmy Dean’s nemesis, about to drive off a cliff and explode. Haha, just kidding.


See now, you think I’m a snob. I’ve liked all sorts of guys. Tall, short, fat, skinny, brown hair, red hair, blonde hair, black hair, tan, pale, polo shirts, t-shirts…I’m not too picky, but hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?

 
I can dream of a Benecio DEL Toro in Excess Baggage, driving a classic car and wearing James Dean jackets with big hair combed back and falling in his face…minus being a car thief.

SMILE!